Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal. My son had pooped in the schoolyard, then gave the teacher a Ziploc bag, and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML
Today, my 5 year old-son and I went out for a walk. As I was looking in a shop's window display, I turned around to see my son pooping into an open manhole on the street. FML
Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML
Today, I was working at my day-camp, and one of my little boys told me he had to show me something important. He proudly showed me that he'd crapped his pants. I had to wipe his ass clean. FML
Today, my 3-year-old son put into practice the lesson I taught him yesterday, about how to use a larger piece of Play-Doh to pick up smaller bits. Unfortunately, he used this method to pick up a small bit of poo from his pants with a larger bit of poo direct from the toilet. I was an hour late for work. FML
Today, one of the kids at the daycare center I work at was so excited at the fact that his constipation was over, he felt the need to bring me his fecal matter, in his hands, to show me. Guess who had to clean up the aftermath. FML
Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML
Today, at work, I came back from my break to find a child covered in mud. Turns out it wasn't mud. One of the other children had taken all of the poop out of their diaper and smeared it all over the floor, walls, and other children. The other teacher hadn't noticed, and I had to clean it all up. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
Today, my 1-year-old son walked up to me with a disgusted look on his face. I could tell he had something in his mouth so I pulled it out. He'd been sucking on a piece of cat poop. FML
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Top comments
Kefka91 15
pick it up Brian. PICK UP MY POO!
afdude87 6
Shitty
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Comments (137)
fatalkiss 0
Damn, your dog demands to get his shit picked up?
sourgirl101 29
Great comment. (:
marinus_fml 20
Yea her dogs name is Brian Griffin.
twinmum_fml 6
means she is Louise griffin. therefore her son is stewie or Chris-- either one and it totally makes sense. both those boys would do that. HA
Grimmerie 31
th
wolve86 0
cool story bro
marinus_fml 20
#12 You just beat me to it!!
ElectricGhost_fml 5
hahahaha good point 12 XD
disco2466 8
the princibal called your son a girl.
disco2466 8
principal* fu
Grimmerie 31
there are certain similar elements in both dog and child training - namely, and most importantly, how to conduct oneself in public. dogs are taught not to lunge at or leap onto humans. children are taught appropriate ways to interact, especially with adults. if you have a school-age child who honestly believes it even remotely acceptable to not only defecate in a public space, let alone show such massive disrespect for a figure of authority, you have done something VERY wrong. y totally di.
dragonaair 5
Wrong comment - sorry
Arraggatis 0
Not always true. Children learn a lot from observation. The kid may be trained properly, but also learning from seeing the dog.
alex1432 9
omfg I would pay good money to watch this as it happened
AEverydayDouche 1
You would pay good money to see a five-year-old (that clearly insinuate that his teacher is a bitch) poop in a school yard? Hey MTV! I got a idea for a new show when people are tired of Jersey Shore.
portablecupid 3
What a lovely son you have.
WolfRayet104 0
.....did she still pick it up?
twinmum_fml 6
your comment made me laugh for some reason
spoke1396 4
and ate ir
enonymous 9
You should teach him how to say "It puts the lotion on it's skin or else it gets the hose again." it's good training for his career