Today, I realized how bad my sex life is when I scratched a mosquito bite and almost had an orgasm. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had the house to myself so I lay on my bed with a porno for some me time. I was just about to begin when I felt a sting. A mosquito bit me right on the shaft. I’m allergic to mosquitos, so now I’m sweating, covered in hives and my knob is swollen in a very bad, not fun way. FML
Today, I got more pleasure from scratching a bug bite than I've gotten from my boyfriend in 2 whole years. FML
Today, after good sex, we were lying in bed, just hugging and stroking each other, when the moment was ruined by a mosquito biting my nipple. I swatted it and we tried to get back to feeling good when another mosquito bit my husband right on the tip of his penis. Moment well and truly over. FML
Today, I finally got to see my girlfriend's mouth open with pleasure… while she was scratching a bug bite. FML
Today, I got some really bad mosquito bites on the outside of my thighs. They itched, and my jeans prevented me from scratching them, so I unbuttoned my pants, stuck my down my leg and started scratching. My mom walked in, and won't believe I wasn't masturbating. FML
Today, I decided to lay out and tan. I fell asleep and got sun burned and bitten numerous times by mosquitoes. If I scratch my itch, the burn hurts terribly. If I don't scratch it, it itches terribly. FML
Today, in spite of 2 different types of bug spray, underwear, and jeans, I discovered not one, but two mosquito bites on my vagina. FML
Today, I got a mosquito bite under each armpit. FML
Today, I was taking a piss, when a mosquito came out of nowhere and headed straight for my dick. In my startled attempt to ward it away, I pissed all over everything, including myself. FML
Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML
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Top comments
rhysfucker 24
Where did it bite you and how long did you scratch?
tygerarmy 35
That mosquito really got your blood flowing.
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Comments (99)
Gittoh 21
low sex drive.. that means you are having a hard time getting hot. So I'm confused. Did you mean High sex drive?
VeganVampyre 27
High sex drive and/or crappy sex life is my guess...
Goblin182 27
If that happened to me I would be raising mosquitos.
ApplesAndPears 10
I wish that happened to me
sweetest_jenn 18
Go sit outside for a couple hours tonight.
StoneDefender 2
I think that is the opposite of a low sex drive.
egrudy 9
I agree. This would be a very high sex drive, low on the getting action scale
NatsuD_fml 13
You just kicked that into in high gear.
moneybenny 10
I find these FMLs that are basically just someone's thoughts or opinion really pointless. Like "I realized this when this happened" when nothing is actually happening, no bad event has occurred, nothing weird has happened and nothing odd has been said. It's not really an FML or an actual story.
vikky538 29
it just represents how long you have been without a mans touch... you should meet ppl...
weveallbeenthere 30
where were you scratching?
NodakN8V 25
Well that bite escalated quickly
SkittlesGoRawr 19
I think you meant high sex drive maybe?