Today, after taking my girlfriend on a date, she invited me back to her place for "hot coffee and dessert." Excitedly, I said yes. When we got there, we actually had coffee and dessert. When I told her this wasn't what I'd had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a date with a girl my friend set me up with. I thought we got along great, until after dessert, when I asked if she'd be interested in doing this again. She just said, "Nahhh" then got up and casually left, stiffing me on the bill. FML
Today, I asked my crush out for coffee but she wanted to go shopping. When she pulled me into the dressing room for my opinion on a bikini, I told her this was too fast for a first date. She looked at me in absolute horror. She thought I was gay, as in a harmless gay friend she could take shopping. FML
Today, I was on a date with a girl I've had feelings for since I was 14 (I'm 22). I took her out to dinner, then to a movie that we both liked and had a few drinks afterwards. I thought it was going really well until I was driving her home and she asked to be dropped off at her boyfriend's house. FML
Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML
Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML
Today, I went on a coffee date with a new girl. It was over less than a minute in, when I ordered a black coffee. She lectured me about how I "obviously" have a "seriously fragile ego." I just like black coffee. FML
Today, I met and asked a cute girl out on a date. We decided to meet at a fancy restaurant downtown. When I got there I saw her sitting with what turned out to be her parents. They made a huge scene, calling me a pedophile and a low-life. Apparently, the girl was 16 years-old. I'm 25. FML
Today, I went on a coffee date. It turned out to be a mistake - not because he was bad, but because I forgot how much coffee upsets my stomach. Yup, it makes me need to poop, and I did. In my jeans. As he drove me home. Not quite the "run" of fun we’d planned. FML
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Top comments
ydi_ruuc 0
you expect to much...
irishfever 0
Just because you took her on a date you automatically get sex?
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Comments (242)
Confuzzledmuch 0
you deserve it u jerk
Janah_the_ENP 0
Unless she said it seductively and did something to show you it wasn't literal, YDI for being retarded.
SarcasticAvenger 9
Christ all mighty, why can't you just accept the fact that you had a good time with her and not be so selfish and needy. She said specifically what she wanted, accept it already.
angie1239 0
I would have kicked u out 2 perv
CharlotteRx 4
HAHAHAHAHA you fail! She is your girlfriend already, if she wanted to **** she would have just told you that.
corme_fml 0
If she is his GF but they haven't had sex yet... then no... she probably wouldn't...
dtotheq 0
wow way to **** up a nite. she obviously wanted to have a romantic nite dumbass
melsababe 0
well it all depends onhow long uve been together....
dreamh20_fml 0
stupid op
flcl2 2
she invited him to her place hoping he would seal the deal by being romantic and busting out an "I love you," from the poor guy. after the commitment has been made and all rituals are complete, the Fing can commence. him calling her on it, though, forced her hand too soon, and with no other alternative, she had to preserve her innocent reputation, and gave him the boot.
floobynooby 0
YDI for playing too much GTA