Today, I work at a chocolate factory on the sanitation shift. I was under a machine cleaning and a spider fell on me. I started freaking out and a coworker thought I got caught in the moving parts and frantically pulled me out and alerted my boss. Turns out it was just a piece of caramel. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked into my boss’s office for a serious meeting. While I was talking, I felt something on my arm, looked down, and realized it was a giant spider crawling up my sleeve. I tried to casually shake it off without screaming, but I just ended up doing a bizarre, silent dance in front of my boss. FML
Today, while I was fitting a new fuse box, a giant spider tried to eat my fingers. As I pulled away, I touched the exposed wires. I woke up flat on my back to the customer slapping my face, burnt fingers, and bruises everywhere. I had also peed and shit myself. FML
Today, while hiking, I walked face first into a spider web. Freaking out, I shook my hair out in case there was a spider. Later on in the day the spider fell from my hair into my food. FML
Today, someone had been stealing my brownie at work every day, so I sprinkled cocolax on one and waited to find out who the culprit was. Turns out it was my manager. Needless to say, I'm fired. FML
Today, I was at a grocery store when I slipped on a puddle of water. I tried to catch my balance, grabbed a shelf, and instead took down an entire display of chocolate boxes. People rushed over to help, albeit while smirking, and a kid yelled, “Do it again!” FML
Today, I was eating lunch outside with my friends, when a spider fell on one guy's back. I glanced at it and opened my mouth to warn him when another guy flicked it and it went into my mouth. I can still taste it. FML
Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML
Today, at my job as a fast food manager, I saw one of my employees "trying to pick the bugs out" of our cookies. They were the raisins in them. FML
Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML
Today, I was working and eating. I was so tired that I bit into my pen and smeared my chocolate-filled pastry on my exercise book. FML
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Top comments
ilikesexyparties 0
aw, at least you have a sweet coworker
MmmHotWaffles 0
so..is the caramel alright?
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Comments (87)
trappazoid 0
FML and the chocolate factory?! Yeah, I would hope it's a pretty clean factory that there wouldn't be spiders falling all over the workers..
24788 7
You have a really bad phobias of spiders. I can get the same way though when I'm deep in the woods. There's no poisonous spiders in Minnesota. It's funny though and at least you didn't get eaten by a spider.
Hoax_fml 0
Today I freaked out over something completely trivial and made a total ass of myself. This is but one example of what has been a recurring trend throughout my life. I guess I really should never be allowed out in public again. FML.
kfnnnp 0
#5 I just finished telling you to **** off on a different fml, so I say again. **** off. OP, I bet your co-worker felt more embarrassed for making such a fuss :)
jen_kay 0
Rough. Oh well, everybody makes mistakes.
plebejus 0
wow, embarrassment all around. FYL
Bitts 0
YDI for not being grateful that you WORK IN A CHOCOLATE FACTORY.
onigiriqueen 0
#14: Wow, you suck monkey balls. Go away. OP: ...Willie Wonka?
martron3000 5
Wow!!! Are you an Oompa Loompa? That's cool !
thelonelylurker 0
I am more interested in why there would be a piece of caramel there.