Today, I work at a chocolate factory on the sanitation shift. I was under a machine cleaning and a spider fell on me. I started freaking out and a coworker thought I got caught in the moving parts and frantically pulled me out and alerted my boss. Turns out it was just a piece of caramel. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked into my boss’s office for a serious meeting. While I was talking, I felt something on my arm, looked down, and realized it was a giant spider crawling up my sleeve. I tried to casually shake it off without screaming, but I just ended up doing a bizarre, silent dance in front of my boss. FML
Today, while I was fitting a new fuse box, a giant spider tried to eat my fingers. As I pulled away, I touched the exposed wires. I woke up flat on my back to the customer slapping my face, burnt fingers, and bruises everywhere. I had also peed and shit myself. FML
Today, while hiking, I walked face first into a spider web. Freaking out, I shook my hair out in case there was a spider. Later on in the day the spider fell from my hair into my food. FML
Today, someone had been stealing my brownie at work every day, so I sprinkled cocolax on one and waited to find out who the culprit was. Turns out it was my manager. Needless to say, I'm fired. FML
Today, I was at a grocery store when I slipped on a puddle of water. I tried to catch my balance, grabbed a shelf, and instead took down an entire display of chocolate boxes. People rushed over to help, albeit while smirking, and a kid yelled, “Do it again!” FML
Today, I was eating lunch outside with my friends, when a spider fell on one guy's back. I glanced at it and opened my mouth to warn him when another guy flicked it and it went into my mouth. I can still taste it. FML
Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML
Today, at my job as a fast food manager, I saw one of my employees "trying to pick the bugs out" of our cookies. They were the raisins in them. FML
Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML
Today, I was working and eating. I was so tired that I bit into my pen and smeared my chocolate-filled pastry on my exercise book. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ilikesexyparties 0
aw, at least you have a sweet coworker
MmmHotWaffles 0
so..is the caramel alright?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (87)
foreverxalwaysx 0
haha that's pretty funny. why is everyone like "oh em gee chocolate factory!!!11" most food places don't even let you eat their food, so you just have to buy it (with a discount) on your lunch break and within a few weeks you're sick of the food anyway
DarkMirror 0
So it wasn't a spider? At least we know the place is sanitary. ^_-
missdean 0
Holy crap ! Freaking best job in the world ! I wish I could work at a Chocolate factory. My new dream job.
redoakqtpie 8
I definatly dont think it is very sanateriy that a spider would be in your chocolate making machine!
theycallmenell 0
charlieee you silly sleepy head :D
vooper 0
Dude. You work in a chocolate factory. Atleast you can eat the caramel afterwards, haha.
snowstorm_fml 0
You should never scream at work because people think you're hurt and when they find you're not you get in trouble with your boss, I learned that the hard way.
i_wuz_nver_here 31
Ydi for not cleaning out the spider webs
bluegoldfish 7
you work in a chocolate factory?? JEALOUS!
purplemonkeysnot 0
mmmmmmmm good ole' carmel