Today, while I was waiting at a red light, another car slammed into me. By the time I got out to assess the damage, the other car was empty and there was nobody in sight. Either Moby Dickwad was abducted by aliens mid-crash, or he was behind on his insurance payments. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I decided to be a good driver and not run through the yellow light. As soon as I stopped my car another came and rear-ended me. The guy told me to go in the parking lot so we can exchange information. So I drove into the parking lot, I turned my head and watched him drive away. FML
Today, I was carjacked. As he shoved me away from my car, I got hit by another car. He and the other car both drove off. FML
Today, I got rear ended. The guy flashed his lights at me to pull over, so I pulled into the side of the road. He drove away. FML
Today, I got rear-ended at a stop sign on a seldom used road in my neighborhood. As I open my car door to trade insurance information with the guy, he backs up a little and speeds away, taking my car door with him. FML
Today, a car backed into mine. I thought that was pretty bad, until another car backed into me right after I'd finished taking the first guy's info. FML
Today, I was in a car accident. After screaming at the woman for running into me, I got in my car and drove off. As I was driving away, I was staring her down when I ended up rear-ending the person in front of me. FML
Today, I was hit by a car speeding through an intersection after the light had already turned red. Still partly blacked out, I crawled onto the sidewalk and I sat down. The woman rolled down her car window and yelled, "Watch where you're going!" as she drove by. FML
Today, some genius shot through a red light, hitting my car and nearly killing me. When I went to ask if he was okay, the first words out of his mouth were, "I hope you have insurance". FML
Today, I went outside and walked to my car, only to see someone had hit and run my car while it was parked. My insurance company deemed my car a total loss. The person who did this never got caught. FML
Today, I was driving home when a guy crashed into me from behind. I got out of my car and told him that I was going to call the cops. He then asked me if we could move to a corner because we were blocking the way, so we then got back in to move. I looked in the mirror to see him driving off. FML
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Top comments
nadnerbz 6
I can't stop laughing at "Moby Dickwad"
Damn_Hippster 11
I think it's pretty obvious that he was abducted by aliens.
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Comments (147)
IW_RIOT 7
Atleast you got the plates unless those disappeared too
phrenetickane 4
Why Moby Dickwad? You and Hemingway good friends or something?
DocBastard 40
Herman Melville is very sad right now.
elletex 8
For the love of god, PLEASE know what you're talking about before attempting a joke.
jhicks123 10
Well he does live in new mexico
ktizzley2k 8
Moby Dickwad? That made this FML soo worth reading.
Tempest559 12
The other driver was probably drunk and ran because of that.
sirensinger 8
You did get the license number, right?
band_geek 18
You can always get the license plate number, as well as call the police to have them take a look. The police pretty much can track down the owner by the plate, after all. :P
jdengel 0
I'm going out on a limb and saying the car was probably stolen
msilikegrapes 8
i dont always hit and run but when i do i literally RUN
br0ccoli 15
Did you check if there was a stuffed bear in the car??
RST 0
Ted is real! I cannot wait!