Today, while I was waiting at a red light, another car slammed into me. By the time I got out to assess the damage, the other car was empty and there was nobody in sight. Either Moby Dickwad was abducted by aliens mid-crash, or he was behind on his insurance payments. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I decided to be a good driver and not run through the yellow light. As soon as I stopped my car another came and rear-ended me. The guy told me to go in the parking lot so we can exchange information. So I drove into the parking lot, I turned my head and watched him drive away. FML
Today, I was carjacked. As he shoved me away from my car, I got hit by another car. He and the other car both drove off. FML
Today, I got rear ended. The guy flashed his lights at me to pull over, so I pulled into the side of the road. He drove away. FML
Today, I got rear-ended at a stop sign on a seldom used road in my neighborhood. As I open my car door to trade insurance information with the guy, he backs up a little and speeds away, taking my car door with him. FML
Today, a car backed into mine. I thought that was pretty bad, until another car backed into me right after I'd finished taking the first guy's info. FML
Today, I was in a car accident. After screaming at the woman for running into me, I got in my car and drove off. As I was driving away, I was staring her down when I ended up rear-ending the person in front of me. FML
Today, I was hit by a car speeding through an intersection after the light had already turned red. Still partly blacked out, I crawled onto the sidewalk and I sat down. The woman rolled down her car window and yelled, "Watch where you're going!" as she drove by. FML
Today, some genius shot through a red light, hitting my car and nearly killing me. When I went to ask if he was okay, the first words out of his mouth were, "I hope you have insurance". FML
Today, I went outside and walked to my car, only to see someone had hit and run my car while it was parked. My insurance company deemed my car a total loss. The person who did this never got caught. FML
Today, I was driving home when a guy crashed into me from behind. I got out of my car and told him that I was going to call the cops. He then asked me if we could move to a corner because we were blocking the way, so we then got back in to move. I looked in the mirror to see him driving off. FML
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Top comments
nadnerbz 6
I can't stop laughing at "Moby Dickwad"
Damn_Hippster 11
I think it's pretty obvious that he was abducted by aliens.
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Comments (147)
DocBastard 40
Feel free to report the licence plate, but I would bet my entire life savings that the car was stolen.
tennisrapper1 14
DocBastard, I thought you weren't commenting anymore... Glad to have you back? Family and your profession is important, but in the little spare time you have away from life, just know all of us are definitely happy to have you on the site. :)
ManInTheMachine 20
I didn't think there would be much left of your life savings after the whole mid-life crisis episode... The Lamborghini was a nice touch, but Playboy mansion was overkill. ;)
DocBastard 40
MITM - I get paid taking care of people's stupid mistakes. You've clearly underestimated the stupidity of mankind and thus you've obviously underestimated how much money I make. :)
noesa 0
Doc, I've been reading FML for almost two years now. It just hasn't been the same without you. Your comments make it worth reading! I had to create an account just to tell you that :-) Please stay!!!
tennisrapper1 14
Get the licenes plate and sue for hit and run.
tennisrapper1 14
Whoops didn't mean hit and run. That's totally different. Just sue the person anyways because what he did was unjust and illegal.
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
technically it wad a hit and run...he just didnt use the car to run..
adrianasofias 3
Get his license place! Sue the jerk!
redreynard 14
Who knew Casper was such an asshole?
KarenEsau 1
so much for friendly
GirlOnFire143 6
Be careful - the aliens might come after you next.
lobum 12
Hopefully the rapture happened...
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
I only laughed because your profile picture is Jesus.
IndieCowboy 15
Well, guess you have two cars now...albeit slightly smashed up. WIN
roxyartist 8
It's a ghost ;)
supertoasty 7
When there's somethin' strange In the neighborhood Who you gonna call? GHOSTBUSTERS!!!!!!!
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
Make sure you have the license plate info written down. If I were you I'd wait by the car with a few cops. It'll be a pleasant surprise when he comes back for his car. I feel for you, OP. A literal hit...and well, run.
shots1996 8
The raptures starting!