Today, while I was waiting at a red light, another car slammed into me. By the time I got out to assess the damage, the other car was empty and there was nobody in sight. Either Moby Dickwad was abducted by aliens mid-crash, or he was behind on his insurance payments. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I decided to be a good driver and not run through the yellow light. As soon as I stopped my car another came and rear-ended me. The guy told me to go in the parking lot so we can exchange information. So I drove into the parking lot, I turned my head and watched him drive away. FML
Today, I was carjacked. As he shoved me away from my car, I got hit by another car. He and the other car both drove off. FML
Today, I got rear ended. The guy flashed his lights at me to pull over, so I pulled into the side of the road. He drove away. FML
Today, I got rear-ended at a stop sign on a seldom used road in my neighborhood. As I open my car door to trade insurance information with the guy, he backs up a little and speeds away, taking my car door with him. FML
Today, a car backed into mine. I thought that was pretty bad, until another car backed into me right after I'd finished taking the first guy's info. FML
Today, I was in a car accident. After screaming at the woman for running into me, I got in my car and drove off. As I was driving away, I was staring her down when I ended up rear-ending the person in front of me. FML
Today, I was hit by a car speeding through an intersection after the light had already turned red. Still partly blacked out, I crawled onto the sidewalk and I sat down. The woman rolled down her car window and yelled, "Watch where you're going!" as she drove by. FML
Today, some genius shot through a red light, hitting my car and nearly killing me. When I went to ask if he was okay, the first words out of his mouth were, "I hope you have insurance". FML
Today, I went outside and walked to my car, only to see someone had hit and run my car while it was parked. My insurance company deemed my car a total loss. The person who did this never got caught. FML
Today, I was driving home when a guy crashed into me from behind. I got out of my car and told him that I was going to call the cops. He then asked me if we could move to a corner because we were blocking the way, so we then got back in to move. I looked in the mirror to see him driving off. FML
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Top comments
nadnerbz 6
I can't stop laughing at "Moby Dickwad"
Damn_Hippster 11
I think it's pretty obvious that he was abducted by aliens.
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Comments (147)
nadnerbz 6
I can't stop laughing at "Moby Dickwad"
EnterSandman_fml 20
Same here. Another insult from FML which I'll have to borrow for my repertoire.
chetchatter 5
I totally missed that and read it "Moby Dick"
pastywhitekid 10
Oh man, that is effing hilarious. FYL. Still laughing over how you phrased that.
domking1315 20
#20, so him randomly writing "moby dick" didn't strike you as odd?
Oreohugzpenny 4
I know right?!?!!??!!? ah god I was just laughing so hard my brother pee'd his pants!
Oreohugzpenny 4
32 give him a break. When I first read it I thought it said moby dick too.
tmaq973 7
So when you laugh hard, your brother pees?
Hiimhaileypotter 53
This is the best FML I've read in a while!
_Oblivion_ 12
Fine choice of words good sir
HahaHokayThen 10
At least you have access to his license plate number
Hiimhaileypotter 53
98- The car was probably stolen :P
uniquechic21 12
I can't stop laughing at "abducted by aliens mid crash" haha.
IQWasJustLowered 0
55 maybe they're twins. you know the telepathic connection they've got.
youjustmademelol 4
Moby dickwad? Mind if I use that 'cause I know a few Moby Dickwads?
Damn_Hippster 11
I think it's pretty obvious that he was abducted by aliens.
yankfan89 27
If OP lives in Roswell it's definitely aliens
i_canlickmyelbow 3
I'm not saying it was aliens... But it was Aliens.
p3mguin 7
Aliens.....
Ray_of_midnight 23
I hope he got probed. Seriously OP, I'm glad you weren't hurt. Hopefully the cops can track down Moby Dickwad. Dunno what things are like in NM but around Boston, the cops take a pretty dim view of hit-n-run even if it's only property damage.
bubbly31 0
Ya and I mean who leaves their car if they are doing a hit and run. If you got the license plate number then the cops should be able to track him down no problem.
brackaman 18
87 Someone who stole the car in the first place.
mars13_fml 8
Pshh I know! It's completely impossible that he wouldn't pay his insurance.
glitterme 5
Of that happen to the second car what happened to the first
Mariebaz 11
Wow, that's pretty crazy. What a douchedick.
SliceOfCake 9
This FML is full of creatively awesome insults.
RydeOrDie 7
I thought it was a women too! Who else would hit another car?
l23VIVE 17
This guy driving is just an annoying fuckball
pokefan813 16
He must have been a pimply cockmunch of a teen... (another fml reference)
mrszane93 5
IKR. I'd say call the police and have them run his license plate number. I'm sure it's not destroyed.
DreaminOfMusic 0
3-I absolutely love your profile pic haha I love Zayn :)
IsAbElLiCiA20 6
OP, that's pretty awful that happened, I hope everything gets straightened out!
Aug1508 9
You can always use the license plate to track the person and sue. Unless the guy ran cause the car was stolen.
X_Codes 11
Betting the car was stolen.
egc573 40
If it was stolen and OP sues, we might get an FML from the car owner, too!
badbadkitty 5
FYI: just file a claim with your own insurance and they will sue for you, it's called subrogation.
dsbs 9
This could be they car that was stolen from the parking lot!
Justin0481 5
America's answer to everything..sue
DogsPaw 16
Fleeing from a Hit and Run automatically makes it a felony...
laden_swallow09 35
106 - This is not a frivolous case, but a legitimate crime. Crime-suh, actually. Fleeing scene of an accident, likely auto theft, evading police… Don't cave in to the sue-happy Americans stereotype so soon.
DoubleBlumpkin 4
Steal anything of value that was in his car and then report him with a hit and run. win win situation.
Dadothy 8
Well the car may not have been the man's. In that case, OP would then be stealing from an innocent person who has already gotten their car stolen.
_Oblivion_ 12
Wouldn't that still deem the car jacker responsible?
xCrazyMexican 4
Robbing the robbers
DespairFaction 11
Great idea!
SliceOfCake 9
The other driver must have been Usain Bolt.
Javalounge 0
Usain Bolt doesn't need to drive.
darkmis1 18
Your picture looks so yummy!
1998magicman 0
Report his license plate.
gree_fml 11
Or steal the car
saranottelling 7
Am I the only thinking the other driver was just invisible?
plaguer 26
Am I the only one bothered by the extra "I" before "while"? Probably.
mhopper 13
It could have been the rapture. There ARE zombies walking the earth. most of us are here because we're clearly going to hell
kandi_kid69 15
10- The ****?
i_canlickmyelbow 3
@41 - Aliens.
THE_A_TEEN 28
This is what happens when you get high on clown shit and comment on FML.
a563 3
10- Zombies aren't invisible, you big silly! :)
mhopper 13
Rapture= end of the world. Zombie reports. Oh forget it! If you don't get it, you don't get it.
SamanthaCassieL 10
Sorry OP. at least the police can help?
a563 3
Da po po ain't gonna do nuthin! OINK ONK COPS ARE PIGGGZ
THE_A_TEEN 28
^Yeah, those same cops who put their life on the line to stop crime are complete pigs, right? I bet the non-corrupt cops are thankful for thate statement.
THE_A_TEEN 28
*that