Today, my friend was confiding all her problems to me over Skype. I pressed the mute button so I could let out a fart, forgetting I'd already muted it earlier. I broke several minutes of my own silence with a devastating wet one. Now she won't talk to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was feeling gassy at work so I used my mute button. Later on in the day, I realized my mute button was disabled. Everyone heard me fart and it's recorded. FML
Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML
Today, I farted during a Zoom call in front of our client. I thought mic was muted. My Team Lead had lot of things to say to me. FML
Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML
Today, I was talking to a guy on the phone. I told him I'd be right back. I thought I'd put him on mute. Turns out he heard everything as I took the biggest dump I've ever taken. We haven't talked since. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
Today, a client shouted at me over something that had nothing to do with me. She put such effort into shouting that she farted in my office. FML
Today, I was Skyping with a guy I'm really into. I'm not supposed to Skype at night, so when I heard my mum coming, I minimized the window. She walked in before I could mute my mic and started bitching me out for flushing my tampons down the toilet. FML
Today, I was on a conference call in my office with the door closed. I let out some loud farts and felt liberated. Forgot my phone was NOT on mute. There were only 3 people on the conference call - including me. FML
Today, while as a therapist, a client made an audible fart and pointed out that she had done so. Shortly after, she wrinkled her nose as she savored the odor. She began to discuss her significant trauma issues. Before I could respond, her fart wafted over to me, making any mature response pointless. FML
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Top comments
leopardwilliam 22
A true friend wouldn't mind a little flatulence
Tessa_11 19
Why did you have it muted before that anyway??
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Comments (94)
Uglyfeet 23
I can only imagine the magnitude of the "wet fart" that made your friend stop talking to you... or, alternatively, a bad and weird position of your mic. Anyway, it was unfortunate and I hope that you two settle things right.
150493x 29
A really unfortunate situation to be in but I couldn't help but chuckle at your username. Genius.
swanheart 35
Agreed. I came on this fml solely to comment on how awesome their name is.
jesterinperil 28
Looks like you're in a stinky situation.
PePziNL 20
NOOOOOOOOO
sahmnc420 13
A real friend would be laughing
Jinxsie 27
Not YDI for farting. YDI for muting your friend when she chose to confide in you with her problems. What true friend does that?
150493x 29
He muted his own mic.
sweetnsourrr 11
um he muted himself...
Jinxsie 27
Aside from the fart, I'd still like to know why OP muted.
ThatDamHuntress 20
Maybe he doesn't interrupt or he thinks the background noises will be distracting to him.
potaytoe 5
So that there's no background noises to make her feel interrupted or anything, she probably got upset thinking op was being rude/ not caring, which is exactly why mute was on :) hope that helped a bit
jesterinperil 28
To those who don't get it, OP muted their own microphone, probably as to not interrupt. They didn't mute their friend's sound.
iAmPaul 49
Looks like you're the one who doesn't get it. OP could hear his friend all the time. OP had been muted for the past several minutes, and had forgotten about this. He then pressed the mute/unmute button (which unmuted him) and farted, such that his friend heard him. His intention was to mute his own mic to not have his friend hear him.
iAmPaul 49
Hahaha all those downvotes for no legitimate reason.
Willibobs 33
#31/#42 you're downvoted because you start by making out like #23 is wrong, then go on to make pretty much the exact same point but in a longwinded way. Making you look like an absolute mitmot in the process.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
@iamPaul jesterinperil's comment: " OP muted their own microphone, probably as to not interrupt. They didn't mute their friend's sound." iamPaul's post: "Looks like you're the one who doesn't get it. OP could hear his friend all the time. OP had been muted for the past several minutes, and had forgotten about this." So your response was to tell the person explaining that it was the OP's microphone that was muted prior to the attempt to mute and not that the OP had muted the sound of their friend talking, that they didn't understand that the OP had his microphone muted. Do you understand "all those downvotes for no legitimate reason." yet ? I'll explain further explain just to be sure. jesterinperil understood the FML as it stood but was explaining to people who weren't understanding that the OP had their microphone muted,and why they may have muted it, not that they had muted the sound and were ignoring what their friend was saying. So all those down votes were because you failed to understand what jesterinperil was saying while claiming they failed to understand the FML.
HairIsEverything 15
NO, #31, you don't get it. OP muted their Mic so their friend couldn't hear whatever it is they didn't want them to hear. If OP had muted their friend for several minutes that would mean OP couldn't hear anything, therefore they wouldn't have been able to forget it was muted because OP COULD STILL HEAR THEM TALKING!! Jeeze. Think about it people, it doesn't make any damn sense. Sorry for the obnoxious caps yelling.. Oh wait, I'm not, dumbasses.
iAmPaul 49
49, 50, 64 - You're all absolute ******* morons. I understand perfectly well what the FML stated. You all have no goddamned idea what you're on about and you all have no concept of a rational thinking process. Especially you, 64, you can **** right off back to crazy town.
jqmalang 17
For others hating on the guy, he meant muting the mic. It's obviously not muting her. And that's reasonable. You can't blame him for having to fart and him being considering
johnnynumnuts 17
To be fair, she should have said something sooner about you being on mute. Sucks op
iAmPaul 49
That's why I prefer PTT (Push-To-Talk) instead of mute/unmute.
denden_mushi 11
Tell her that problems are like farts. Stinky, sometimes hard to get through, and uncomfortable when you're with others. If you dwell on it, it lingers, but after a while e smell disappear. Then finish it off by saying that her problems will be okay, because you'll always be there for her.
Brandi_Faith 34
Genius!