Today, my friend was confiding all her problems to me over Skype. I pressed the mute button so I could let out a fart, forgetting I'd already muted it earlier. I broke several minutes of my own silence with a devastating wet one. Now she won't talk to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was feeling gassy at work so I used my mute button. Later on in the day, I realized my mute button was disabled. Everyone heard me fart and it's recorded. FML
Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML
Today, I farted during a Zoom call in front of our client. I thought mic was muted. My Team Lead had lot of things to say to me. FML
Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML
Today, I was talking to a guy on the phone. I told him I'd be right back. I thought I'd put him on mute. Turns out he heard everything as I took the biggest dump I've ever taken. We haven't talked since. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
Today, a client shouted at me over something that had nothing to do with me. She put such effort into shouting that she farted in my office. FML
Today, I was Skyping with a guy I'm really into. I'm not supposed to Skype at night, so when I heard my mum coming, I minimized the window. She walked in before I could mute my mic and started bitching me out for flushing my tampons down the toilet. FML
Today, I was on a conference call in my office with the door closed. I let out some loud farts and felt liberated. Forgot my phone was NOT on mute. There were only 3 people on the conference call - including me. FML
Today, while as a therapist, a client made an audible fart and pointed out that she had done so. Shortly after, she wrinkled her nose as she savored the odor. She began to discuss her significant trauma issues. Before I could respond, her fart wafted over to me, making any mature response pointless. FML
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Top comments
leopardwilliam 22
A true friend wouldn't mind a little flatulence
Tessa_11 19
Why did you have it muted before that anyway??
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Comments (94)
Dick_diamond 22
Sounds like you blew the chance at a real friendship. That stinks..
DigitalDoctor 2
"And thats my final answer / sound"
MissBehavin77 18
It's just a fart, everyone does it. Your friend should lighten up a little.
wallmaria 15
HAHAHAHA if it was me that'd make my day
snickerpuss 9
I would have carried on like nothing happened. And just pretend it's a random noise, nothing to do with me.
sxphysticated 17
YDI for muting your friend when she was coming to you for help. It's not easy to confide in people and you blatantly disrespected her by putting her on mute before while she was just talking.
SookyLala 13
Maybe you should read his fml again...
buckdharma 38
In restless stream she talked alone In narrow bleats of garbled drone Neath the halo of a desk lamp Turnip and collards results in bold cramp When my ears were stabbed by the gas of a freon blight That split the night And touched the sound of silence
Gityerchicken 12
Over a fart?
ShadowlessSpear 21
YDI for having her muted
Twisted_Angel 17
She probably realized at that point that you'd had her on mute the entire time. and she's probably more annoyed than she is upset.