Today, my friend was confiding all her problems to me over Skype. I pressed the mute button so I could let out a fart, forgetting I'd already muted it earlier. I broke several minutes of my own silence with a devastating wet one. Now she won't talk to me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was feeling gassy at work so I used my mute button. Later on in the day, I realized my mute button was disabled. Everyone heard me fart and it's recorded. FML
Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML
Today, I farted during a Zoom call in front of our client. I thought mic was muted. My Team Lead had lot of things to say to me. FML
Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML
Today, I was talking to a guy on the phone. I told him I'd be right back. I thought I'd put him on mute. Turns out he heard everything as I took the biggest dump I've ever taken. We haven't talked since. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
Today, a client shouted at me over something that had nothing to do with me. She put such effort into shouting that she farted in my office. FML
Today, I was Skyping with a guy I'm really into. I'm not supposed to Skype at night, so when I heard my mum coming, I minimized the window. She walked in before I could mute my mic and started bitching me out for flushing my tampons down the toilet. FML
Today, I was on a conference call in my office with the door closed. I let out some loud farts and felt liberated. Forgot my phone was NOT on mute. There were only 3 people on the conference call - including me. FML
Today, while as a therapist, a client made an audible fart and pointed out that she had done so. Shortly after, she wrinkled her nose as she savored the odor. She began to discuss her significant trauma issues. Before I could respond, her fart wafted over to me, making any mature response pointless. FML
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Top comments
leopardwilliam 22
A true friend wouldn't mind a little flatulence
Tessa_11 19
Why did you have it muted before that anyway??
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Comments (94)
IAmStory 0
Aha what a plonker
DoomedGemini 38
Just try to explain it when you can. I can understand her anger without knowing what happened, but if she continues to be angry after knowing you were trying to mute it then she is being unreasonable.
neppy 6
I did that once, except it was a loud burp. Forgot my mic was already muted, so I unmuted it and belched right into my boyfriend's headset. Good times!
Notverycreeative 13
easily one of the funniest FML posts I've read in a while.
Atalia 17
Why would they not talk to you? You can't control it.
the_other_one_ 4
YDI for being stupid.
dragonrider1959 18
YDI for muting while your friend was confiding in you
TallMist 32
Have you never used Skype before? She clearly meant that she intended to mute her mic and NOT her friend.
thefallen12 13
I legit don't understand why people are so offended by farts? Smells? Sounds? Oh wow we don't have those anywhere. Seriously it's a normal bodily thing. Good god
naiveprophet 15
Oh come on, that shit's just funny.
EmeraldArcher 10
FML had a little fart little fart little fart FML had a little fart And now his friend hates him (Tune - Mary had a little ham.)