Today, the window cleaner did his rounds at my house. I sat at my mirror applying makeup and doing my hair. When he came to my window, he yelled rather loudly, "Stop putting on a show for me, you dirty slut!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I thought I was waving at my neighbor, who was also waving enthusiastically back. After smiling and gesturing, I realized she was actually cleaning her windows. I was flirting with Windex. FML
Today, I went to open my bedroom curtains while still in my pajamas, which, in my defense, were just a very oversized T-shirt. I didn’t realize the window cleaners were outside until I heard one of them say, “Morning!” We made prolonged eye contact before I slowly closed the curtains like I was lowering the lid on my own coffin. FML
Today, a group of angry women stormed my boss’s office, complaining I was harassing them and peeping through their windows. I'm a window washer, and these women never buy curtains. FML
Today, I was walking past a restaurant to my car. Some man who was sitting on the patio went completely out of his way to walk through the restaurant, out the door, and follow me halfway down the street, just to tell me that my hair was ugly, my makeup was too thick, and my dress was “slutty.” FML
Today, I started work cleaning a customer's pool. I think her husband watches too much porn because he keeps glaring at me from the windows, and I overheard him telling his wife that he knows what's "going on" and that he's "not gonna let it happen". FML
Today, I was freshening up my makeup in the car before a date. An old lady walked by and said through my open window, "Don't bother. There's no helping you, honey." FML
Today, I caught my stylist in the mirror attempting to get his colleague to laugh by spitting on my head while washing my hair. FML
Today, I saw a woman in the neighbouring apartment taking a shower without pulling the blinds of her bathroom window. As a good Samaritan, I waved my arms to attract her attention that she forgot the blinds. She noticed me, opened the window, did a weird boob dance and middle fingered me. FML
Today, at work, the janitor would not stop telling me how good I looked. This was after he told me he was fired for sexual harassment at his last job. He clearly learned that lesson. FML
Today, whilst at a red light in my car, a homeless man with a spray bottle and a dirty rag came over to clean my windows. He started with the driver's window, which was wide open, and whatever was in his spray bottle smelled suspiciously like urine. FML
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Top comments
CueTheMusic 22
I would tell him that his services are no longer required at your place. What an ass.
Cor1nn4 10
He's got problems
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Comments (94)
TheDrifter 24
So, what were you wearing while applying that makeup, OP? Inquiring minds want to know what sort of show offended him so much.
fml1365 30
I'd fire him. What an ass.
Ins0mau 20
You'd fire him for having a sexy arse?
doo_f 9
he should be embarrassed, not you! so self-centered and arrogant of him!
mariepastyglue 30
Wow that is so unprofessional. you should contact who he works for and report him, they might suspend him, or at the very least change his window cleaning rounds. Sorry for your embarrassment OP and just doing make up is hardly putting on a show especially when fully clothed.
perdix 31
Which hair were you doing? The crotchetal kind, I daresay?
TheDrifter 24
Braiding her back hair to go out later.
strokesie 23
That's actually quite funny. Take a joke, op.
ClashParody 21
Reading through the comments, I was beginning to think I was the only one who had this reaction.
Obey_StudBoii 23
Sounds like he wanted attention. If that was the case, do so by firing him. That'll give him more then enough.
Cleu 12
This just reminded me of that one song from the lounge Lizards about window cleaners
justindrew14 29
since when is putting on make up make you a **** hes got problems sorry op
theboy13 13
Hope he's not your window cleaner anymore..