Funny guy

Desperate housewives

Today, I thought I was waving at my neighbor, who was also waving enthusiastically back. After smiling and gesturing, I realized she was actually cleaning her windows. I was flirting with Windex. FML

Nothing to see here

Today, I went to open my bedroom curtains while still in my pajamas, which, in my defense, were just a very oversized T-shirt. I didn’t realize the window cleaners were outside until I heard one of them say, “Morning!” We made prolonged eye contact before I slowly closed the curtains like I was lowering the lid on my own coffin. FML

Windows 2019

Today, a group of angry women stormed my boss’s office, complaining I was harassing them and peeping through their windows. I'm a window washer, and these women never buy curtains. FML

Everyone's a critic

Today, I was walking past a restaurant to my car. Some man who was sitting on the patio went completely out of his way to walk through the restaurant, out the door, and follow me halfway down the street, just to tell me that my hair was ugly, my makeup was too thick, and my dress was “slutty.” FML

Today, I started work cleaning a customer's pool. I think her husband watches too much porn because he keeps glaring at me from the windows, and I overheard him telling his wife that he knows what's "going on" and that he's "not gonna let it happen". FML

Today, I was freshening up my makeup in the car before a date. An old lady walked by and said through my open window, "Don't bother. There's no helping you, honey." FML

Gross prank, dude

Today, I caught my stylist in the mirror attempting to get his colleague to laugh by spitting on my head while washing my hair. FML

Today, I saw a woman in the neighbouring apartment taking a shower without pulling the blinds of her bathroom window. As a good Samaritan, I waved my arms to attract her attention that she forgot the blinds. She noticed me, opened the window, did a weird boob dance and middle fingered me. FML

Today, at work, the janitor would not stop telling me how good I looked. This was after he told me he was fired for sexual harassment at his last job. He clearly learned that lesson. FML

Today, whilst at a red light in my car, a homeless man with a spray bottle and a dirty rag came over to clean my windows. He started with the driver's window, which was wide open, and whatever was in his spray bottle smelled suspiciously like urine. FML