Today, my girlfriend's parents were out of town, so I stayed the night, hoping for some fun. Somehow, we started talking about conspiracy theories, and she spent the next half hour ranting at me about how Osama bin Laden is really still alive. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML
Today, my girlfriend was excited because her uncle was coming for a visit. She started telling me stories about him, and the more she talked, the worse it got. I’m fairly certain uncle is a cult leader, and that my girlfriend was born into and brainwashed by a cult that got shut down by the police. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend over to her first dinner with my family. My gramps spent the entire dinner telling my girlfriend how the Illuminati are plotting to take over the world and use microchips to control everyone. So much for being taken seriously now. FML
Today, I introduced my kind and amazing Iranian boyfriend to my mother. When he went to use the rest room, she warned me to "knock it off with this Bin Laden fetish" or she'll have me put on psychiatric hold. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me the details for al-Qaeda's plan during 9/11 for an essay. I had no idea and she said she just expected me to know, since I'm "one of those people." I'm Iranian. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. They thought it'd be hilarious to put on ridiculous accents and act like country hicks, spewing obscenities and strongly hinting that we're into incest. She soon left in disgust. I haven't heard back from her since. FML
Today, I jokingly tried to convince my girlfriend that Wyoming was a government conspiracy and did not exist. She believed me. FML
Today, I got a new roommate. I thought he was pretty cool until he mentioned how everything around us was a conspiracy. Then he asked if I knew how to make a bomb. FML
Today, I finally got to see my favorite aunt after months of her living far away with her new boyfriend. She now believes the Earth is flat, gravity is fake, the government is run by reptiles, and that vaccines are the devil themselves. She won't stop trying to convince me of her conspiracies. FML
Today, I went out of town with my mother-in-law. I don't know what possessed her to start questioning me about her son's and my sex life. When I told her I wasn't talking about that, she began to discuss her and my father-in-law's bedroom habits. The car ride was two hours. FML
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Top comments
quincykid23 6
**** blocked by Osama? Never heard of that happening before...
Silly_Lilly6969 23
Sounds like y'all had lots and lots of fun...
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Comments (82)
CanadianCutie22 16
sounds like a perfect evening !
iwadasn 33
You think it's an FML that you had to actually talk to your girlfriend instead of just having sex with her?
WelcomeToAndale 13
He is....
Bcfrmkc816 17
Sorry dude but I agree with her no pics and no body
Obey_StudBoii 23
How is that even possible? Go look online there are plenty of pictures. Watch Seal Team 6.
Goddamnidiots 12
Dna tests were done to you know.
Zomg_Okay 27
44 - While I understand why it was done, I thought burying bin Laden at sea was a bit suspicious, fair enough. There *are* pictures however and Al Qaeda themselves have confirmed bin Laden's death.
Obey_StudBoii 23
Wow, and yet you're still dating her. Have her watch Zero Dark Thirty. If that doesn't work then she's a ditz.
Supergirl1988 16
Because films are such a good source of facts...
SwaggCapone 11
if he was dead why won't ovomit show the body?
kthuts 7
Wow, the sheep strike again. Listen to Alex Jones. Maybe you'll wake up and realize that your girlfriend is on to something.
gracehi 33
Yeah. Right next to the Ark of the Covenant.
gracehi 33
To be honest, I have that suspicion too, and it was my first thought when I learned they dumped his body in the ocean.
Goddamnidiots 12
Why would dumping his body in the ocean arouse suspicion?
admad2 3
Because he was the "reason" USA playing war in Afghanistan for over 10 years, his capture should be the result of this long war and should be celebrated. Why on earth would they dump the body in the ocean so that there's no way to confirm whether he's really dead or not? When they captured Saddam they hanged him in front of TV, no problems with that. So why the sudden change? ;) The most logical reason is that they didn't really capture Osama, but they needed to finish this long episode, so they dump some body to the ocean saying it's Osama, really convinient... As for Osama, it's hard to tell, maybe he died years ago? Maybe he yet lives? Who knows...
gracehi 33
Because it destroyed the only irrefutable evidence of his death. I'm not saying he's definitely still alive, but that was sketchy to me. However, if they were going to fake Osama's death, it would make more sense to do it closer to the election. Plus, they would run the huge risk that Al Quada would prove them wrong, so there wouldn't be much in it for the government to fake his death unless they knew he was already dead.
born_hustla 26
She sounds super fun to me! I have convos like that all the time! No kidding. Lol