Today, my wife is still refusing all forms of sex, because she thinks if she gets pregnant during lockdown, she’ll be the butt of all her friends' jokes about what people get up to to relieve the lockdown boredom. I know what I’d like to be getting up to right now to relieve my boredom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as usual, my wife only wants to have sex to reproduce. As soon as she falls pregnant, the shop is closed. She doesn't care about my sexual needs, saying if I was really that horny, I should go sleep with some else. I'm not that guy and if I do get the guts to do so, I‘m afraid she will hold it against me, and take the kids and our savings. FML
Today, after screaming at me this morning, my wife has been giving me the silent treatment. We're trying to get pregnant, but she caught me masturbating, or "reducing my sperm count on purpose" as she called it. I just wanted some harmless fun with some porn, since getting pregnant has made actual sex a chore. FML
Today, my wife always told me she loved sex too much to ever give it up. I don’t know what’s happened recently but she’s now angry for no reason, bitter at the world, makes me suffer just for existing, and yes, she’s cancelled all intimacy and sex for the foreseeable future. FML
Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML
Today, my husband is sulking because he "can't" have sex with me. I've tried initiating things multiple times, but he keeps saying no, because I'm pregnant and he says it'd be exactly the same as having sex with his own kid. FML
Today, my wife asked me for a divorce, shortly after I found out she's been having an affair. Then our county placed us on quarantine for Covid-19. Now I'm stuck living with her until it goes away. FML
Today, my wife, who NEVER wants to have sex, decided that now is the time. I, of course, had to take antibiotics that make me so bloated I can’t move without extreme pain. FML
Today, I would rather pound to porn than have sex with my wife, because trying to get her in the mood is too much hassle. FML
Today, my wife is two months off her birth control as we want a baby. We haven't had sex once. Every little thing I do annoys her now and she keeps complaining that I stink. I shower daily. FML
Today, my girlfriend kindly broke the news to me that she doesn't want to take part in any sexual activity anymore because it's getting too boring. FML
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Top comments
kfchicken 31
cuz people will think she's having sex with her husband like some kind of.... wife?
Boyufd 25
why does she care?
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Comments (14)
Boyufd 25
why does she care?
kfchicken 31
cuz people will think she's having sex with her husband like some kind of.... wife?
Kurliez408 32
because it's obviously not normal to have sex when you're at home with your husband... right?
tounces7 28
Her reason is obviously extremely suspicious.
Mathalamus 25
Your wife doesn't seem able to get her so called friends to not make dumb jokes. I'd dump these friends...
julfunky 29
Really? I can’t believe how many people have upvoted this. I’ve had a couple friends mention the boom in births we’ll have in approximately 9 months. It’s a joke. No reason to “dump friends” over it. That’s as overdramatic as her withholding sex.
Joshawott 21
All your wife would have to do is say "Well, *someone* didn't get any" and boom, the friends would joke about them instead.
JLS 4
If she’s embarrassed for people to think she could be having sex with her husband she was way too immature to get married to begin with.
Brightside86 31
Sounds like you don't have a wife so much as a roommate.
mayaklast 12
And so... neither you nor your wife have heard about contraception? Because you know you can have sex without getting pregnant, right? The way the FML is worded, especially the 'all forms of sex' thing, also implies that your wife thinks she can get pregnant by performing masturbation or oral sex. If she does, it might be a good time to give her the sex talk, I guess.
wellthatsunfortunate 10
Birth control? Condoms, the pill, depo shot, ... (whatever suits her and she can get right now, at least condoms should be possible!) Or at least other forms of intimacy? If neither she or you have thought about any of that, YDI, both of you!
power_in_the_now 19
Maybe you should make it a challenge to yourself but doing sweet and sexy things for her/to her so that it brings your sex life back alive... it sounds like she is using it as an excuse to not be bothered the whole time to have sex. If you maybe have sex centered on her and not you— she might be more likely to want to spend some of that boredom in the bedroom or whatever room in the house that your able to get her off in.
John Raymond Matheney 6
**** my comment, listen to this one
Susan Yee 9
Condom? Oral sex?
tounces7 28
She's full of shit. There's another reason, and it's not a good one.