Today, my wife is still refusing all forms of sex, because she thinks if she gets pregnant during lockdown, she’ll be the butt of all her friends' jokes about what people get up to to relieve the lockdown boredom. I know what I’d like to be getting up to right now to relieve my boredom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as usual, my wife only wants to have sex to reproduce. As soon as she falls pregnant, the shop is closed. She doesn't care about my sexual needs, saying if I was really that horny, I should go sleep with some else. I'm not that guy and if I do get the guts to do so, I‘m afraid she will hold it against me, and take the kids and our savings. FML
Today, after screaming at me this morning, my wife has been giving me the silent treatment. We're trying to get pregnant, but she caught me masturbating, or "reducing my sperm count on purpose" as she called it. I just wanted some harmless fun with some porn, since getting pregnant has made actual sex a chore. FML
Today, my wife always told me she loved sex too much to ever give it up. I don’t know what’s happened recently but she’s now angry for no reason, bitter at the world, makes me suffer just for existing, and yes, she’s cancelled all intimacy and sex for the foreseeable future. FML
Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML
Today, my husband is sulking because he "can't" have sex with me. I've tried initiating things multiple times, but he keeps saying no, because I'm pregnant and he says it'd be exactly the same as having sex with his own kid. FML
Today, my wife asked me for a divorce, shortly after I found out she's been having an affair. Then our county placed us on quarantine for Covid-19. Now I'm stuck living with her until it goes away. FML
Today, my wife, who NEVER wants to have sex, decided that now is the time. I, of course, had to take antibiotics that make me so bloated I can’t move without extreme pain. FML
Today, I would rather pound to porn than have sex with my wife, because trying to get her in the mood is too much hassle. FML
Today, my wife is two months off her birth control as we want a baby. We haven't had sex once. Every little thing I do annoys her now and she keeps complaining that I stink. I shower daily. FML
Today, my girlfriend kindly broke the news to me that she doesn't want to take part in any sexual activity anymore because it's getting too boring. FML
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Top comments
kfchicken 31
cuz people will think she's having sex with her husband like some kind of.... wife?
Boyufd 25
why does she care?
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Comments (14)
pawesome21 21
Lol, I’m sure that’s the reason. With all the protection and ways to do it. But if you are gullible enough to believe her.
DramaQueen 5
Birth control?
ojoRojo 27
Gee, if only there were a bunch of ways to have sex without getting pregnant...
John Raymond Matheney 6
if u don't have any kids, got enough money, divorce her. **** that shit. or tell her you'll go **** her friends instead that's the dumbest shit I've ever heard. you're wife is an idiot
BurnInDemonFire 39
As if you'd be the only ones! Having said that, I wouldn't want to hear "Your kid's a 'Quaran-teen'!" every time someone met them in 2033, so I kind of see her point of view.
clair_brodie 35
Last time I checked stores are still open and there is this thing called condoms....
Taurus_ChicKa 37
That's a stupid reason to not have sex. Sounds like she cares way too much about what her friends think, in which case she should probably reevaluate those friendships. And if she's so worried about getting pregnant, there is an awesome invention called contraceptives...