Today, I had to take a dump at work. I walked into the bathroom and opened a stall, only to find what I can only describe as a fecal crime scene. It was like a turd had exploded mid-air. It was so vile, my anxiety kicked in and I broke down into a sobbing panic attack. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML
Today, I desperately needed to pee, so I decided to confront my anxiety issues and use a public toilet. I opened the lid, only to see several huge, rancid floaters staring back at me. I had an attack, started sobbing, and pissed myself on the way home. Never again. FML
Today, I thought I was going to shit myself at work. I speed-walked all the way to the bathroom clenching for dear life. Barely got my pants down while simultaneously sitting and unleashing. After all that, it was just a gigantic fart. FML
Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML
Today, at work, I had a coughing fit so bad I actually shat myself. What felt like a gallon of liquid crap poured down my trouser leg onto the floor. I work in a competitive office and this happened in front of 30 spiteful coworkers who love posting pics online. FML
Today, I had to flush someone else's shit in the public washroom at work. It was so vile, I didn't want to get anywhere near it, so flushed it with my foot, only for it to slip off the handle and into the toilet. FML
Today, I had horrible diarrhea at work. When I felt the bubbling, I ran to the bathroom. An agonizing bowel movement later, I realized that there was no toilet paper in the stall. Just as I was about to ask a coworker who was in the bathroom for some, the fire alarm went off. FML
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, after a shopping trip, I had the worst diarrhea attack and almost shat my pants before I could even get in the front door. By the time I could get the door open, it was taking all of my self-control to keep from shitting myself. I had to shit on the toilet with the front door and bathroom door wide open. FML
Today, as if having diarrhea at work wasn’t bad enough, my office’s aggressively flushing toilet sprayed me with my own liquid shit. FML
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Top comments
MegasaurusRex89 28
People are disgusting. I've unfortunately seen that several times at my job. Sorry about the panic attack :(
IAmzephyr 22
Poopnado 3: the toilet incident
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Comments (77)
lexiieeex3 32
I hope this doesn't sound insensitive but was there more than one bathroom or more than one stall at least?
cari_cat 19
Not that after seeing that OP would stay in the bathroom. Though I just have to say this is the best written FML I've ever read.
Steffi3 40
Let me guess. You're a crewmember on that plane that had to turn around because the smell in the toilets was unbearable?
False_Stupidity 42
This is going into my favourites just for the great creative description.
selee_01 6
Certain people just can't seem to clean up their own mess. Just lazy and disgusting. Sorry you had to deal with that OP.
Witchylady 18
I would break down too. I saw a faecal explosion at a train station public toilet once and I have never been the same since. The memory of dripping poo sliding down the walls and the toilet is enough to scare any one. I feel for you buddy.
dawood_k 27
Oh shit I'm so sorry OP You must have felt splattered, I mean shattered
aubamas 20
call FSI fecal scene investigation
estrada813 11
Well, shit.
ShadowlessSpear 21
*Welshite
enginsteve 17
So the first thing I thought of was the difference in damage via an airburst or ground burst when you're bombing a target. I've been moved on and mentally modeled the damage done between uttered airburst and a turd ground burst..
ThatHorse 15
This sounds like a shitcom (shituational comedy)