Today, I was flirting with a cute girl at a club. She seemed into me and said I was hot. I said thanks and grinned. I guess my grin looked psychopathic, because her expression turned to horror, and she quickly excused herself. She was the only girl who's ever shown any interest in me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML
Today, I approached a cute girl at a club, and she started barking at me like a rabid dog. Thinking she might be mentally unhinged, I left, only to see the same girl laughing her ass off with her friends minutes later. When I went back over, her friends started barking at me too. FML
Today, it was my first time at the club. I saw a really cute girl. I finally worked up the courage to ask her to dance. Before I even got within five feet of her, she looked me in the eyes and vehemently shook her head. I did a 180. My friends saw everything. They are still laughing. FML
Today, I saw a beautiful girl at the bar. I attempted to be friendly and hit her up for a chat. She called me a “creep” and told me to get lost. A few moments later, another guy does the exact same thing I did and she smiled and kept flirting. FML
Today, I was at a club and caught a cute guy's eye from across the bar. He smiled at me, got up and came over, then said "Oh shit! You looked way hotter from back there. Damn!" and walked away. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant, and I saw my friend. When we made eye contact, I made a creepy face at her and twitched my arms to make her laugh. A woman looked over said sadly, "Oh my God, that poor girl!" She thought I was "special." FML
Today, I noticed a girl looking at me on the train. Playing it cool, I decided to give her a smile and see what would happen. It came out as a creepy, seedy grin, prompting her to call security. FML
Today, at school, a cute girl kept glancing up at me, giggling, and looking away as soon as I looked at her. So naturally I walked up to her and asked if she wanted to go out sometime. She said she didn't like me, she was just laughing at how big a zit was on my forehead. FML
Today, I asked a very attractive girl out, then later I ended up talking with her. One of my friends comes up to us and points out that I'm beet red and, "blushing like a bitch". She notices and laughs. FML
Today, while working at the bar, I had a beautiful woman squeeze my bicep and tell me I was in amazing shape. Instead of flirting like any normal human being, I awkwardly said, "Thanks…" and then walked away in shame. FML
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Top comments
MissCloudy249 14
You must have a killer smile, OP!
ww431 15
Sucks! Don't take it personally though, plenty more girls around! :)
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Comments (74)
Captain_Debilos_fml 13
so you've finally found the reason. Now practicz in front of a mirror to change your smile
WOTAN1488 24
Interesting... Try not to smile? Lol no really, don't smile. :) But seriously, better luck next time I suppose, you can do it
ukeandfoodislife 19
Honestly if she left purely because your smile was "psychopathic" then she doesn't deserve your time. Plus, if she thinks you're hot, I'm sure plenty of other girls think so too. Try to talk to more girls and be yourself. Keep your head up, OP. One day you'll find an amazing girl(:
iwadasn 33
I don't know, you can't really blame a girl for running from a serial killer slasher grin.
SaniK 17
Practice smiling in the mirror and remember, less is more.
counting_graves 0
Brush yo damn teeth and make sure no food is sticking out.... Ya psychopath
hipposteve 21
pshh. her loss. dont sweat it
TallMist 32
Anakin Skywalker, is that you?
Rababco 29
No, that would be if OP monologued about how much he hated sand. If Anakin can get Padme despite his awkward dialogue ,then I'm sure OP will eventually find someone who accepts him too.
Ruskiy_Cherep 18
Only kinda girls ull find at the club are for one nighters anyways. Ull be fine
PsychicBulwark 4
I'm sure you'll find SOME way to go on living. You POOR SOUL.
scyth3s 13
You sound like a nice guy with a lot of good advice to offer. Thanks.
gunnerblaster 21
Club girls typically aren't the type to seek out a true meaningful relationship with, anyways.