Today, while my husband and I were arguing, he walked away in the middle of my sentence yelling, "Remember babe, you're only my current wife!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband recorded me getting out of bed and sleepwalking all the way into the backyard and straight into our pool. He was too busy giggling like a schoolgirl to help me out. FML
Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce. She also confessed that she has been cheating on me with my best friend for 10 years. I appreciated the honesty, but was slightly upset considering we have only been married for 9 years. FML
Today, my husband and I were talking about celebrities he finds attractive. All of these beautiful, talented, glamorous women were starting to make me feel very plain, so he attempted to console me by saying, "But I love you. You're attainable!" FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML
Today, my wife, who has a drinking problem, looked me straight in the eye as she poured herself a "water" bottle to enjoy while at work. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting to surprise him when he got home from work. I was laying in his bed when he called to tell me we were over. I couldn't leave before he got home. FML
Today, my crazy ex-girlfriend legally changed her last name to mine. I'm getting married in a week. FML
Today, while sitting next to me, my boyfriend sent a text to one of his "friends" saying, "I'm thinking of you." FML
Today, my boyfriend of 2 years told me he had feelings for someone else. He also told me he wanted to continue dating me until things progressed further with the other woman. FML
Today, I was insulted and harassed by my sister and her boyfriend, all because I proposed yesterday. They were angry I might get married before they did. They have known each other since primary school; I met my fiancée earlier this year. FML
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Top comments
Egao_fml 8
What the?
greenie213 23
Past wives, future wives, midwives, good wives, bad wives, big wives, tall wives, fat wives, skinny wives. The list goes on and on!
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Comments (86)
onorexveritas 24
only? ... wow. he speaks so highly of you
jerry2011 4
Not sure about you OP. But some people need such reminders.
MandieL 27
I have to bite my tongue when my husband and I fight because all sorts is stupid irrational ride comments pop into my head. Sometimes they slip out but it depends on what the fight is and how mad I am. My husband employs the silent treatment and has once told me why. He Sais bad stuff too and would just rather not. It was a fight and I'm sure by the time your FML was posted, the fight was already done and over with and the comment forgotten about. Not an FML nor a YDI...kinda moot.
truckdriver321 3
Duh!! Man always has upper hand.
sweetly1120 6
Be like "remember hun, you're only my current husband!"
Rabidkid 14
Lol
olpally 33
Another FML with another asshat guy... Jeez :/
Hon3y_schnucums 1
You should have came back at him with "Well maybe your next wife will be Asian. Every dick is big to them." lol
saphfiire 13
I definitely said that a few times during my marriage. And during my engagement too. I tried to call the wedding off, and I walked away 2 months later. My XH was most definitely replaceable.
DocBastard 40
Gee, I'm glad to see you take the concept of marriage so seriously.
Rocky007 15
I always introduce my wife as "This is Mrs. Rocky007, my first wife".