Today, while my husband and I were arguing, he walked away in the middle of my sentence yelling, "Remember babe, you're only my current wife!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband recorded me getting out of bed and sleepwalking all the way into the backyard and straight into our pool. He was too busy giggling like a schoolgirl to help me out. FML
Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce. She also confessed that she has been cheating on me with my best friend for 10 years. I appreciated the honesty, but was slightly upset considering we have only been married for 9 years. FML
Today, my husband and I were talking about celebrities he finds attractive. All of these beautiful, talented, glamorous women were starting to make me feel very plain, so he attempted to console me by saying, "But I love you. You're attainable!" FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML
Today, my wife, who has a drinking problem, looked me straight in the eye as she poured herself a "water" bottle to enjoy while at work. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting to surprise him when he got home from work. I was laying in his bed when he called to tell me we were over. I couldn't leave before he got home. FML
Today, my crazy ex-girlfriend legally changed her last name to mine. I'm getting married in a week. FML
Today, while sitting next to me, my boyfriend sent a text to one of his "friends" saying, "I'm thinking of you." FML
Today, my boyfriend of 2 years told me he had feelings for someone else. He also told me he wanted to continue dating me until things progressed further with the other woman. FML
Today, I was insulted and harassed by my sister and her boyfriend, all because I proposed yesterday. They were angry I might get married before they did. They have known each other since primary school; I met my fiancée earlier this year. FML
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Top comments
Egao_fml 8
What the?
greenie213 23
Past wives, future wives, midwives, good wives, bad wives, big wives, tall wives, fat wives, skinny wives. The list goes on and on!
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Comments (86)
courtz94 24
Wow.
ElricMustang 23
Dat vocab!
JustDerpin 11
What an original comment! You deserve a cookie.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
How insightful. Tell us more Plato!!!
courtz94 24
Hey cookies are good! And I know not a good comment XD
afer85 4
Tell him it works both ways and go file paperwork.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
ONLY his current wife? How much higher up can you go?
ikickgingers 15
The next bitch.
bReLiNg 18
His immature... Remember op, immaturity is a game that can be played on both sides. >:D
Len_Kagamine 8
*He's... I'm sorry I just had to...
midnightmusic 2
Well that's jus rude
DrewFluIngle 10
Just* But really you don't say?
feroxletum 6
Spelling nazi :P
JJJJJakkkkeee 6
What the actual ****?
perdix 31
The first one to "go nuclear" in an argument usually wins. You gotta use the Nuclear Option wisely and sparingly, otherwise your bluff won't be taken seriously.
JennaNGood 21
Tell him that now you're his ex wife - serve the bastard right.
Silent_Thrill 17
I was about to say that I hoped that you weren't married but then I thought to myself... she probably already divorced her guy for having a sex dream that wasn't about her. My point? Well I'm glad you ask (in my mind). In the heat of the moment stupid shit can be said. Sometimes you can't look into it too much, especially so much that you consider divorce.
JennaNGood 21
Hmmm well I'm only eighteen, so I have yet to be married, and yeah I agree stupid shit can be said in the heat of the moment, consider this: I was joking. Calm down.
Silent_Thrill 17
Well most people on here who say that aren't joking. So sorry to make an ass out of us both! Plus, there is no need to calm down. I was only joking too. Sorry for people that read this thread. It's a bummer now...
Boob_fml 6
It's not that big of a bummer, considering neither of you were joking. It was actually amusing watching both of you make the other retract their statement out of feeling dumb.
lilcuz69 16
Amen
DocBastard 40
It's amazing what can come out of your mouth when arguing with your spouse. Mrs. Bastard and I have a strict "no insults" policy during our rare fights, but we've both slipped a few times. Take it for what it was - something stupid he said in the heat of the moment.
alycion 39
Sometimes when angry, things just slip out. I am with you for taking it for what it is. Some of me and my husband's low blows are just never spoken of again, even in the after fight apologies. We know those are included. We try to enforce the same policy. But like you said, the rare incidents can and will happen. A strong relationship can move on past them.
bridgetv25 8
Hahaha I thought you were calling her a bastard until I read your name bwahaha