Today, we ran out of disposable gloves at work. After saying how grossed out I was about having to touch raw chicken with my bare hands, my female boss goes, "Just imagine you're touching yourself. That's what I do." Even more grossed out now. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I said hi to my coworker and she immediately yelled, "Get your gross unwashed hands out of my face!" I wash my hands compulsively and they were nowhere near her face. FML
Today, my boss sneezed onto his hands and then licked them in front of my best customers. FML
Today, while at work, I used the restroom. After I noticed we were out of paper towels, I just tried shaking my hands dry. I then readjusted my bra, since it'd been driving me crazy all day. After getting back to my cubicle, I realized that I had two wet handprints over my boobs. FML
Today, my OCD manager sprayed my hands with chemicals because I'd touched the bin while throwing away a piece of paper. My hands are now covered in itchy, unattractive rashes. FML
Today, my boss slapped me across the face with a raw chicken breast. FML
Today, at my dental practice, we received a shipment of the stupid flavoured gloves my boss ordered to make the place more "friendly to the kids". I started working in an adult patient's mouth, when he decided to start creepily making out with my fingers. FML
Today, while meeting some of the big boss guys at my new job, one of the men sneezed on his hand and then grabbed mine for a handshake. I felt every gooey bit of his snot between our hands. FML
Today, at work, a customer pulled down her pants and lifted her sweater to reveal a hole in her chest full of greenish, stinky goo. I don't work in anything health-related. FML
Today, my girlfriend was cooking dinner. To my horror, she took the chicken out and immediately began scrubbing it with dish soap. When I asked what the hell she was doing, she stared at me like I was insane. FML
Today, I work at a pizza place and one of my jobs is to spoon crushed red pepper into bags. After I finished this, without thinking to wash my hands first, I used the bathroom. It still burns. FML
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Top comments
trucker2 33
Where do you work....that's not quite sanitary
rustybucket 24
Ahhhh the health code violations!!
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Comments (64)
thatonedude55 8
I'M INCREDIBLY DISGUSTED but slightly aroused.
ihatedouchbags 17
Only reading this makes me feel nauseated, I just can't imagine being in your shoes. FYL
mrBearBear 11
That's a gross response but seriously it's just chicken. I'm sure people cooking at home don't have disposable gloves for when they cook. Just make sure to properly wash your hands before and after... really not something to be grossed out about.
failalltheway 22
Brings a new meaning to the phrase "choking the chicken".
rad2007 8
Thanks now I'm grossed out
pepeneki 15
So she told you to imagine touching a different kind of ****, huh?
Fallen94 1
Seriously? You got grossed out by having to touch raw meat...... Wow I have to do my dogs food which consists of raw meat, organs and bone hate to see what you'd be like with that
Crf250R37 5
I work in a meat market and touch meat with my bare hands all day and no it's not a health code violation
Platypus95 6
I work in the deli. Why don't you just put your hand into a plastic bag and use that, or put your hand into the side of a bag and pick up the breasts and drop it into same bag. Maybe Google how to do that. And wash your hands often if you decide to keep using them instead.