Today, we ran out of disposable gloves at work. After saying how grossed out I was about having to touch raw chicken with my bare hands, my female boss goes, "Just imagine you're touching yourself. That's what I do." Even more grossed out now. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I said hi to my coworker and she immediately yelled, "Get your gross unwashed hands out of my face!" I wash my hands compulsively and they were nowhere near her face. FML
Today, my boss sneezed onto his hands and then licked them in front of my best customers. FML
Today, while at work, I used the restroom. After I noticed we were out of paper towels, I just tried shaking my hands dry. I then readjusted my bra, since it'd been driving me crazy all day. After getting back to my cubicle, I realized that I had two wet handprints over my boobs. FML
Today, my OCD manager sprayed my hands with chemicals because I'd touched the bin while throwing away a piece of paper. My hands are now covered in itchy, unattractive rashes. FML
Today, my boss slapped me across the face with a raw chicken breast. FML
Today, at my dental practice, we received a shipment of the stupid flavoured gloves my boss ordered to make the place more "friendly to the kids". I started working in an adult patient's mouth, when he decided to start creepily making out with my fingers. FML
Today, while meeting some of the big boss guys at my new job, one of the men sneezed on his hand and then grabbed mine for a handshake. I felt every gooey bit of his snot between our hands. FML
Today, at work, a customer pulled down her pants and lifted her sweater to reveal a hole in her chest full of greenish, stinky goo. I don't work in anything health-related. FML
Today, my girlfriend was cooking dinner. To my horror, she took the chicken out and immediately began scrubbing it with dish soap. When I asked what the hell she was doing, she stared at me like I was insane. FML
Today, I work at a pizza place and one of my jobs is to spoon crushed red pepper into bags. After I finished this, without thinking to wash my hands first, I used the bathroom. It still burns. FML
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Top comments
trucker2 33
Where do you work....that's not quite sanitary
rustybucket 24
Ahhhh the health code violations!!
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Comments (64)
CaptainSolo3596 7
Aaahhhhhhhhggggghhh
missymaster 16
I have literally never worked in a kitchen where we had to wear gloves to handle the meats, just copious amounts of hand washing. Gloves should be worn when touching the things that don't get cooked before eating, like veg, though.
MyS3lf 24
Well, now I don't want to handle raw chicken nor touch myself ever again. Is that an FML in itself? This is not a good way to start the morning...
ThrottleJockey 36
Finger licking good!
Talis99 26
For the record, my cooch does not feel like raw chicken. She might want to see a doctor.
andrmac 25
So you say you call it foul?
anlong93 9
Foul, or fowl?
CaptainCrow 13
Looks like your place needs a visit from the health inspector
thatsme293 28
I don't understand how a ****** feels like raw chicken. The moist part maybe.
somelildude 14
Where do you work at OP?
Cody1187 3
I bet your boss is a freak
anlong93 9
Dude, FYL. That's gross. Also, if your boss thinks her ****** feels like raw chicken, she has problems, too. Ew.