Today, in an elaborate plan to finally meet my cute neighbor, I convinced my friendly mailman to switch up our mail so I'd have an excuse to meet her. After I delivered her mail, I waited for her to mention that she had my mail, but she never did. I even saw her take it out of her mail box. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the mailman delivered my new phone to my neighbour's house. This was okay, because he left a note in my mailbox informing me so. Now my crazy neighbour won't give me the package because, "*I* signed for it!" FML
Today, I awoke to banging at my door. It was my neighbor, accusing me of stealing her mail to spy on her, because apparently she thinks I must be some sort of secret agent. The cops don't believe me when I call, and she won't go away. FML
Today, I got a reply to my Valentine's Day card that I sent to my girlfriend. I'll get the address right next time because her neighbor is really creeping me out now. FML
Today, while I was home sick from work, my neighbor got packages delivered. Our apartments have had a lot of thefts lately so, being neighborly, I brought her stuff inside to wait. When she came home, I gave them right to her. Instead of thanking me, she told the office that I was the thief all along. FML
Today, I got a notification that a package had been delivered. I opened my door and saw it on at doorstep. I was expecting one, so I grabbed and opened it, then realized it wasn’t mine, but my neighbor’s. I had to awkwardly re-tape it, then sneak over and leave the disturbing contents of the box on their porch before they noticed. FML
Today, I found a love letter in my mail. It was from a girl I met at a bar few weeks ago. I never gave her my address or last name. I guess I have a stalker now. FML
Today, my new mailbox key finally arrived. Not at the front door as I requested, but in the mailbox. FML
Today, I received an envelope with my name written in beautiful writing in my mailbox. I just moved in the day before and hadn't given the address to anyone or met my neighbors yet so I was a bit surprised by it, even more surprised to find nothing but a dick pic inside. FML
Today, a phone I bought online turned up while I was at work. The delivery guy left a note saying he'd left the package with my neighbor at #10. When I went and knocked on the door and asked for the package, my neighbor said "Nope, nothing delivered here." and quickly shut the door in my face. FML
Today, I went to check my mail but there was a guy standing at the mailbox. I said, "Hey, get the fuck away from there." It was the mailman. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
amypr 20
She probably just hadn't looked at the mail yet. I really doubt she wants to steal your bills.
OhMinty 5
Lol im surprised the mailman listened to you.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (145)
Reality_bites 14
Maybe she had no idea who you were and threw the mail outgave it to the real estate agent to pass it on because she thought it belonged to the previous person living in her house. Once she found out who you were, she's hardly going to admit to that is she?
Helldemon 32
I doubt she had time to give it to a real estate agent. Besides, it wouldn't even be her address so she would have to be pretty dumb to think it belonged to the previous owner of the house. Hopefully it was just a misunderstanding and op gets his mail back.
kalbrek009 20
I think your mail man may have broken a few federal laws if they actually agreed to or at the very least should be written up for it. Also, I think that your neighbor (if she kept your mail) did it so she could figure out who her new stalker is (you) & know exactly what to put on paper when she files a restraining order against you...I know I would.
lainzilla 14
Yeah I'm sure this woman who knows nothing about you would be thrilled to get to know the guy who convinced a mailman to help you deceive her. Protip: Girls like honesty. It isn't creepy, it makes them feel like you respect them enough to be honest with them AND it has the added bonus of not making you have to keep track of your lies. Win win for everyone.
Satoaoi 13
she didn't say she has your mail because she's been secretly stalking you.
chrisp87 11
Why go through all that trouble just to meet the neighbor? Couldn't you have just baked her something and welcomed her to the neighborhood YDI
PurpleKicks 22
dude sounds like abit of a crazy stalker to me!
Cupcake040 17
Hope it wasn't anything important
jnchristensen 8
Soooo... you convinced your mailman to commit a felony because you're a tool?
iceroyalty1984 14
It's only crazy if it doesn't work. Sorry the comments are full of very un-romantic people, OP. I like your style ;-)
sarahadlina 14
I think she knows about the plan you had. 0.o