Today, while spending the night at a friend's house, I was woken up by someone kicking me. I figured she was having a nightmare, and since we were sharing a bed, I reached over to wake her up. Turns out it was her boyfriend trying to push me off the bed because they were having sex. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was woken up by the sound of someone in my room. I started freaking out, thinking someone had broken in, so I kicked them, only to realise it was my boyfriend coming back from the toilet. I'd forgotten he was staying over. FML
Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML
Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML
Today, I woke up to my best friend laying next to me vigorously touching herself. She thought I was asleep. FML
Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML
Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML
Today, I was in minding my own business in bed in my dorm room. It was dark and my roommate came over, intending to slap my ass really hard. The problem is, I was lying face up. FML
Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML
Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML
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Top comments
JHC88 2
Wow, that was really rude of him.
123josie123 11
Ew they didn't have the decency to wait till you're gone??
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Comments (217)
rattyrayvn 21
Jeez how fcking desperate is he...he can't wait one day until they're alone...
Amelia Wood 7
that's a bit harsh and a bit disgusting!
EmDizzle2007 28
I swear I've read this before.
Selene1090 26
I once had a sleepover with a few girls, and while I was trying to sleep they were fingering each other in the bed right next to me. I totally get it, It's really rude and awkward.
jaydoo 6
You should have said "Next"!
Hillyard 10
Didn't invite you to join in? Rude!
Talented73 54
A light sleeper sleeps with a light on. A hard sleeper sleeps with a hard-on.
KittehFreak 25
Wow, what a dick
Yummi_913 18
I can understand the excitement of sex while other people are in the room and trying not to wake them and all that jazz. Not so much on the same piece of furniture they are on though. But what I don't understand, is how the **** you are friends with someone who is disrespectful enough to let her guy literally KICK you to floor while you are sleeping. Literally treating you like a dog. Shit, I wouldn't even let someone kick my dog! Why don't they just spit in your face too while they're at it?
Yung Maggot 6
You're the asshole for not giving them the bed space. Be a good Samaritan.