Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was working at the checkout. Trying to be hygienic, I suppressed a sneeze. I continued to serve the next person. As I was giving her her change, she looked at me with a horrified expression. I looked down and my shirt was covered in a trail of snot all the way to my belt. FML
Today, I've been having really bad seasonal allergies. I was at work, and feeling just about to sneeze for at least a full minute, but thought I could stop it. A customer came up to me, I opened my mouth to greet her… but instead sneezed right in her face. Several seconds before my addled brain caught up. FML
Today, while meeting some of the big boss guys at my new job, one of the men sneezed on his hand and then grabbed mine for a handshake. I felt every gooey bit of his snot between our hands. FML
Today, my boss forced me to come into work despite having a bad cold. While waiting a table, I violently sneezed and sprayed a child's face with snot. His dad got so pissed that my boss had to pretend to fire me just to calm him down. FML
Today, it's my first day at my new job. Unfortunately, I have a very bad cold. When my boss leaned in to show me something on the computer, I sneezed all over him. A hell of a first impression. FML
Today, my boss sneezed onto his hands and then licked them in front of my best customers. FML
Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing on everybody's food, I turned my head to the side and sneezed, it just so happens a waitress was there serving a table. My nose went straight into her ass. FML
Today, while I was working the drive-thru window, a customer sneezed into his hand and then handed me his money. FML
Today, I was in a meeting and someone behind me sneezed really loudly. As they were doing so, I felt something cold land on my neck. FML
Today, I went back to work after being sick for a week. While I was gone, they hired a new manager. Trying to score bonus points, and possibly a raise, I went to shake her hand and introduce myself. Just as I was about to say, "Hello, my name is…" I sneezed right in her face. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
You might get his lawyer's number :) Did you not learn in kindergarten to cover your nose and mouth when you sneeze? If he gets sick, he could blame your snot attack for his problems.
kwosti 0
That is sooo disgusting - I guess next time you have a cold you will have learnt about handy pack tissues to keep behind the till....
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Comments (38)
kukopia 0
What a self-centered mucus host you are. You spew infectious snot all over him and think it's a FML for YOU??!?!?? No F'g way! FHisLife! And it sounds like you work in the food industry, DOUBLE EWWWWWW. I hope he files charges and you get fired.
1234PIE43215 0
Wow. I can't say anymore to you
kukopia 0
No problem, as you're not suppose to. Go on about your business.
Eyespada 8
HAHA yeah sounds like someone i know and shes a stupid dumb bitch that works at booster juice named candis sounds like something she would do and i think she would ******* deserve it shes a **** and rude to customers and should get fired i hope that this person does and that soon the girl i know does too so i can go back there haha
containsnosoy 0
That's why you don't sneeze towards people...? FHisL, not yours.
Wet_Dream 0
Maybe he's a pervert and like's it!!!
misspeg 0
sheesh she sneezed ACCIDENTALLY people. not like she did it on purpose. I mean she 'should' have covered her mouth but c'mon we have all sneezed where we didn't see it coming. give her a break far out!
plutosaplanet 0
but i think the fact that she said she had a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up means this was not an out of the blue sneeze but one she wasnt doing anything to prevent
TheTragicReturn 0
No, I can always feel a sneeze coming on, and this gives me a chance to sneeze appropriately (not in someone's face). I assume everybody has this control. The author deserved it. And, misspeg, would you not care if somebody (accidentally or not) sneezed in your face?
ekralc_ssly 0
And that is why they invented handkerchiefs/sleeves/napkins. Its gross that you didn't cover your nose and mouth. So many germs (besides all that snot) go into the air.. I bet at least 3 other people at your work get sick now. But at least next time you sneeze you'll know better.
spikedrummer49 6
Agreed for sure with this comment...were you not raised/told at some point in your life to sneeze into your shoulder?
rai2525 0
Ew...
Regnard_fml 0
Just don't understand why everyone posting a FML like this one always say clearly that the customer was "attractive". No one likes to get sneeze in the face. Attractive or not. People are feeling less awkward when the person is not attractive ?
Nakedsquirrel 5
Are you one of those animals that can't turn their heads? How advanced you must be in your little tree civilization to have computers, internet and electricity!
Dixie_Normous 0
Really, all over his face? YDI
hazardharry 0
YDI for sneezing on him.