Today, I was on a blind date with a girl my friend set me up with. We went to a fancy restaurant and she ordered the shrimp. I told her, "I'm allergic to shrimp, so you shouldn't order it in case I want to kiss you later." She looked at the waiter and said, "I'll have the shrimp." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went on a blind date with a guy at a seafood restaurant. I explained to him that I am deathly allergic to shrimp. When the waiter took my order, he interrupted me and said, “She’ll have the shrimp," while looking me dead in the eye. FML
Today, I found out that I'm allergic to shrimp, when I went out for a lunch with my long-term crush after I finally got the courage to ask her out. She's really into seafood. A little while into the afternoon I started to feel itchy. She ended up scratching my back all night. FML
Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "Nope", and walked out. FML
Today, I was going on a blind date with a girl. She walked up to the table, said "Nah, no thanks" and left. FML
Today, I went on a blind date that my friends set up. Not only did my date visibly recoil at the sight of me, she ended up trying to convince me that we're actually cousins. When I told her how absurd that was, she muttered, "Fuck it" and left. FML
Today, my best friend set me up on a blind date with someone he said was very hot. I'm not exactly what you call fit, so I haven't been dating lately. As soon as I got to the restaurant, I spotted the girl. She looked me up and down, said, "You have GOT to be kidding me" and left. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. He took me to a restaurant where I was allergic to practically everything on the menu. I sneezed five or six times within the first 15 minutes and spent the rest of the lunch awkwardly trying to explain I wasn't allergic to him, just the food and spices floating around us. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out to a vegetarian-friendly restaurant. She ordered shrimp fettuccine, and I asked why. She slowly explained to me that vegetarians can eat shrimp, then muttered that she now knows who has the brains in our relationship. FML
Today, I went on a blind date that my best friend had set up for me. When I arrived, I introduced myself and we sat at the table. After we ordered our food, he asked the waiter for some crayons and a kid's menu, and colored for the half hour before our food came. He didn't talk to me at all. FML
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Top comments
platypusrex256 2
thats a bit forward for a first date, don't you think?
puffingdragons 0
It's the guys fault. "In case I want to kiss you later." Way to come off as a Jerk.
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Comments (168)
dcapp 0
i agree with #3 that was a pretty forward thing to say
filthyfrith 0
You really should have played it cool till you knew the situation :)
crazy_cat_lady 0
Haha! You tried to tell her what to do and she basically told you to screw off! That'll teach you to think you're King Shit!
ellis_fml 0
judging by what you said and her reaction I'd say you're a skeeve you set yourself up for that
npk1112 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I hope you went dutch and let that bitch pay for her own shrimp!
Jbomb01 0
should have just said im allergic and the smell might trigger me off, would have worked wonders and you still might have that kiss.
JuJuBeeSunshine 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Umm...yeah, so get rid of that bitch now. How rude! So basically, she wanted a free meal and some good drinks. I'm not saying that she "owes" you anything at the end of the night, but she was clearly dismissing a serious concern regarding your health and closing herself off the the possibilities of the evening. You should have left right before the check came and screwed that ***** with the tab.
PTERONOPHOBIA 0
I would have ordered the shrimp too, just to be a dick, and because you said "you shouldn't." I'LL DO WHATEVER I WANT BUD
lolololcheese 0
you should have told her not to order it without mentioning kissing.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Except it's not his business what she orders...
JCM_fml 0
even though what she did was kinda rude, i say you deserved it. pretty dumb to say on a 1st date
_Chocoholic_ 0
Ouch :S