Today, I was getting ready for my first date with a boy I really like when my dad insisted on meeting him. My dad is super protective and a cop. He cleaned his gun in front of my date and made it clear he had to be careful with me. My date started to cry when we got to the car. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was supposed to be going on my first date with a guy I really liked. He never showed up. I just found out my dad was outside washing the car when my date showed up. He told him he didn't have a daughter and to never show up on his driveway again. FML
Today, I was going on my first date. I was planning my outfit with my mom when my dad offered his advice. “That boy won’t care what outfit you’re wearing, just make sure you wear sexy underwear and carry a condom, guaranteed first date success. That’s how me and your mom got married, you know?” FML
Today, my boyfriend picked me up to take me on a date. Just as we were about to drive away, my dad ran out of the house in his underwear and started yelling that he'd kill my boyfriend if I wasn't back home within the hour. FML
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really like. He brought up that there was a person staring at us from a nearby table. That person was my mom. FML
Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML
Today, my boyfriend drove me back home. My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap. He stroked the gun, looked my boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head. Now my boyfriend refuses to see me for his own safety. FML
Today, I had a first date with a guy I met online. And his mom. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML
Today, I went on my very first date. We went out to eat dinner and everything went great! Afterwards, I went to drop him back off at his house. I backed out of his driveway and got stuck in a ditch. His dad had to come out and tow me out. So that's how I met my boyfriend's parents. FML
Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
shan789mudge 0
aww haha poor guy! =P
happy_me 0
awww poor guy :( fhl i hope you dont judge him for that only. I'd be ******** my pants too
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (407)
thegoodlifeNOT 0
awww your daddy loves you!
caretoshare 0
oh wow. wusss ? lol. he has othing to worry about unless he's planning to DO something he's not supposed to. :S HAHAHAHAHAA. i just loved this one. cleaning out his gun.. lmfao. :)
irun4edmund 0
this actually isn't that bad. The second girl I ever dated, her dad insisted that he take us skeet shooting for a 'date'. He had several different shotguns and at the end of the day he asked which i liked best. After pointing out my favorite he looked me square in the eye and said "Try any funny business with [my daughter] and I'll kneecap you with it" I believed him. and you know what? I never did try anything...
Specter5 0
You know, thinking about it, what kind of pussy has to indirectly threaten a kid with a gun to get a point across? It's pretty unrealistic, especially in this scenario. You really think a cop would shoot you if you ****** his daughter or something? I'd think threatening to break your thumbs would be more scary than sitting there trying to look badass with a gun. If he did that to me I'd probably say, "well you better shoot my ass now then tough guy." If he did, ah well, but chances are he'd just sit there with a dumb look on his face knowing that he doesn't look so ****** tough anymore.
thelonelylurker 0
HAAAAAHAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAA. Go out with a cop, problem solved.
cuteekayj 0
Dude sounds like a little punk bitch anyways. Maybe you need to seek someone with some balls. lmbo
Peroxide 3
BAHAHAHAHAH best fml ever. He ******* cried! I look forward to attending ur shotgun wedding.
cough 0
like someone said earlier dad is a jerk guy is a wuss
mike_i_am 0
your dad rules haha
invermere 0
Maybe your boyfriend should scrape the sand out of his ****** and man up a little...