Today, I was getting ready for my first date with a boy I really like when my dad insisted on meeting him. My dad is super protective and a cop. He cleaned his gun in front of my date and made it clear he had to be careful with me. My date started to cry when we got to the car. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was supposed to be going on my first date with a guy I really liked. He never showed up. I just found out my dad was outside washing the car when my date showed up. He told him he didn't have a daughter and to never show up on his driveway again. FML
Today, I was going on my first date. I was planning my outfit with my mom when my dad offered his advice. “That boy won’t care what outfit you’re wearing, just make sure you wear sexy underwear and carry a condom, guaranteed first date success. That’s how me and your mom got married, you know?” FML
Today, my boyfriend picked me up to take me on a date. Just as we were about to drive away, my dad ran out of the house in his underwear and started yelling that he'd kill my boyfriend if I wasn't back home within the hour. FML
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really like. He brought up that there was a person staring at us from a nearby table. That person was my mom. FML
Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML
Today, my boyfriend drove me back home. My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap. He stroked the gun, looked my boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head. Now my boyfriend refuses to see me for his own safety. FML
Today, I had a first date with a guy I met online. And his mom. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML
Today, I went on my very first date. We went out to eat dinner and everything went great! Afterwards, I went to drop him back off at his house. I backed out of his driveway and got stuck in a ditch. His dad had to come out and tow me out. So that's how I met my boyfriend's parents. FML
Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML
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Top comments
shan789mudge 0
aww haha poor guy! =P
happy_me 0
awww poor guy :( fhl i hope you dont judge him for that only. I'd be ******** my pants too
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Comments (407)
jennc 0
awww poor guy :( hopefully you guys are still together~
EFFyourlifecait 0
That's what dads do. He'll do that with his daughter one day. punch him in the face for being a baby.
wrestling49 0
hahahahhahahah i plan to do this with my 12 ga. maverick 88 mossberg shotgun to my sister and her first boyfriend!!!!!!!
redbluegreen 41
He cried? My uncle's like this. He was in the navy and he pretty much implies that if any guy lays one finger on his daughters, he's got his gun, a shovel and a truck ready for him. How old are you? And how old is the guy?
Kamazar 0
I wouldn't be crying. I'd be curled up in a fetal position under a bush or something.
seb3sixn9ne 0
Yes... That's what dad's do. Tell your boyfriend to man up and get the sand out of his ******.
Crunchy_fml 0
your boyfriend needs to grow some balls
Callyn 47
That's not what sane fathers do. FYL, your dad is insane. You need to have a talk with him about boundaries.
elastisch 0
Awwww, that poor kid. I hope you put out.
koda_fml 0
"Today I went to pick up my date at her house. Her dad pulled out a gun on me and told me to be careful with his daughter. When I got back in the car, I started sobbing uncontrollerably. FML" We should be seeing this anytime soon. Lol. Hope you made him feel better!