Today, I was getting ready for my first date with a boy I really like when my dad insisted on meeting him. My dad is super protective and a cop. He cleaned his gun in front of my date and made it clear he had to be careful with me. My date started to cry when we got to the car. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was supposed to be going on my first date with a guy I really liked. He never showed up. I just found out my dad was outside washing the car when my date showed up. He told him he didn't have a daughter and to never show up on his driveway again. FML
Today, I was going on my first date. I was planning my outfit with my mom when my dad offered his advice. “That boy won’t care what outfit you’re wearing, just make sure you wear sexy underwear and carry a condom, guaranteed first date success. That’s how me and your mom got married, you know?” FML
Today, my boyfriend picked me up to take me on a date. Just as we were about to drive away, my dad ran out of the house in his underwear and started yelling that he'd kill my boyfriend if I wasn't back home within the hour. FML
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really like. He brought up that there was a person staring at us from a nearby table. That person was my mom. FML
Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML
Today, my boyfriend drove me back home. My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap. He stroked the gun, looked my boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head. Now my boyfriend refuses to see me for his own safety. FML
Today, I had a first date with a guy I met online. And his mom. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML
Today, I went on my very first date. We went out to eat dinner and everything went great! Afterwards, I went to drop him back off at his house. I backed out of his driveway and got stuck in a ditch. His dad had to come out and tow me out. So that's how I met my boyfriend's parents. FML
Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML
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Top comments
shan789mudge 0
aww haha poor guy! =P
happy_me 0
awww poor guy :( fhl i hope you dont judge him for that only. I'd be ******** my pants too
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Comments (407)
justasillygirl 0
Tell him to grow a pair. Crying? Seriously? Grow up.
ForestFire0 1
He was cleaning his gun. As in it was unloaded and disassembled. I don't know how that was intimidating enough to make your date cry. Unless, of course, he's some vegan pussy who cries when people step too heavily on grass and bend it. In that case, you deserve it for dating some one who doesn't have anything between his legs. Actually, why would you date this guy at all? **** those people who say "don't judge him too harshly! It was super duper scawy!" You can't judge him too harshly. Tell him you only date guys who fit the medical definition of male.
Rach_star 0
LOL i agree ;)
disgruntled_stdt 0
your father has done more for abstinence than hundreds of others before him. Good for him for making good use of his firearm.
equastriangirl 0
haha aww poor guy
fretforyerlatte 0
what a crybaby. that's just dad for you. my husband will probably be worse when my daughter starts dating. anyhow if he's planning on being a gentleman he should have nothing to fear, huh?
HJORules007 0
Your date is a bitch, haha. Your Dad probably just wanted to help you seperate the men from the boys
lovebear884 0
thats a lot like the song "cleaning this gun" by rodney atkins
lonerftl 3
Lol #52 he's prolly a mamas boy, dump him. In honest truth I wouldn't have been intimidated by someone like that all, even if he meant it. :)
Trixness 3
hah wimp sorry but i wud not cry
audax 0
I would expect nothing less from the father of the girl I dated than to have it explained to me how much his daughter means to him, and have it implied that he would do things to me which I would not like if I did not treat his daughter with proper respect. I made the same clear to my cousin's boyfriend, I'll make it clear with my sister's boyfriends when she starts dating, and I'll scare the living hell out of my daughter's boyfriends should I ever have a daughter. I couldn't respect the father of a girl I dated if he didn't do something like that.