Anonymous
Ridge, United States
Fire hasard
Today, I had to take my son to the ER after he badly messed up trying to light his farts on fire. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
SadDad
Alexandria, United States
Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML
myfamilyisodd
United States
Today, I had to take my son to the emergency room for shooting himself in the ass with a BB gun. FML
It feels fucking awful
Pucker up
Today, on a whim, I decided to try to light a fart on fire. I now know how it feels to take a dump when you have a burn directly on your asshole. FML
Anonymous
Australia
Today, I had to call poison control because my idiot son swallowed a bunch of baking soda to "make a volcano in his tummy." FML
Anonymous
Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam
Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML
wah wah "you raised him"
San Francisco, United States
Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML
naomi3271
Loud fart
Today, I accidentally scared my one year-old son with my huge, smelly fart that was really loud. He now won't come near me without crying. FML
derped-out sperm
Ireland
Today, I had to rush my 14-year-old son to the hospital after he fell out of a tree while trying to take an obnoxious "extreme selfie". FML
Anonymous
Fredericksburg, United States
Today, I had to pick my 22-year-old son up from the hospital, after he got blind drunk, got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and got the bright idea of staggering to the local ER to get it cut off. FML
Jen
Philadelphia, United States
Today, my son decided he wanted roasted marshmallows. It would've been fine, except he put the entire bag into the oven I had preheating for pizza and caught it on fire. FML
Top comments
bulletsinthewind 21
All in the name of science
stangbang92 17
Did the flame get sucked in?
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Comments (84)
Dexter83_fml 17
That sucks op. I'm sure it will all blow over.
Mahcookiez 15
How bad exactly?
Chinhull 22
hahaha! gawd damn kids! they gon learn real quick.
samantha_xoxo 5
What? ?
bustyou 15
Inverted farts are the worst , happens to the best of us
JKPwnage 27
...so what happened?
LPac5295 27
I've heard of firecrotch but never fire ass.
FiFaguY 20
There is a thin line between genius and insane
FSGInsainity 15
Did he light his ass hair on fire?
Skycop_S 23
This made me laugh more than it should have.. ._.
captainsmegma 12
Somebody didn't teach the proper procedure for lighting farts. People some things need to be taught at home and not left to our public education system. Sounds like family quality time around the dinner table is needed.
andrmac 25
That would make everyone leave the dinner table.