Anonymous
Ridge, United States
Fire hasard
Today, I had to take my son to the ER after he badly messed up trying to light his farts on fire. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
SadDad
Alexandria, United States
Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML
myfamilyisodd
United States
Today, I had to take my son to the emergency room for shooting himself in the ass with a BB gun. FML
It feels fucking awful
Pucker up
Today, on a whim, I decided to try to light a fart on fire. I now know how it feels to take a dump when you have a burn directly on your asshole. FML
Anonymous
Australia
Today, I had to call poison control because my idiot son swallowed a bunch of baking soda to "make a volcano in his tummy." FML
Anonymous
Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam
Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML
wah wah "you raised him"
San Francisco, United States
Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML
naomi3271
Loud fart
Today, I accidentally scared my one year-old son with my huge, smelly fart that was really loud. He now won't come near me without crying. FML
derped-out sperm
Ireland
Today, I had to rush my 14-year-old son to the hospital after he fell out of a tree while trying to take an obnoxious "extreme selfie". FML
Anonymous
Fredericksburg, United States
Today, I had to pick my 22-year-old son up from the hospital, after he got blind drunk, got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and got the bright idea of staggering to the local ER to get it cut off. FML
Jen
Philadelphia, United States
Today, my son decided he wanted roasted marshmallows. It would've been fine, except he put the entire bag into the oven I had preheating for pizza and caught it on fire. FML
Top comments
bulletsinthewind 21
All in the name of science
stangbang92 17
Did the flame get sucked in?
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Comments (84)
Memeosaurus 14
How does that even happen? Does he have 3rd degree burns in his butthole?
lightningclicks 24
and the Darwin Award goes to...
Shmatterhorn 38
Sorry, kid did not win the Darwin Award. Maybe in the future if kid keeps doing stupid stuff.
OldManSisyphus 9
At best, an honorable mention. You have to remove yourself from the gene pool to win a Darwin Award.
hipposteve 21
Aloe vera might help? I hope this teaches him a lesson not to be so foolish..
doodlebug33 20
Fire in the hole!
loueasy 23
I'm a ****** moron.
Anony2014 10
No, the kid deserved it for BEING a dumb kid. **** OP's life because they're going to have to work THAT much harder to raise their kid. Some kids just suck and do dumb shit, despite their parents' best efforts.
YoloWhiteRSA 20
Children often copy the behavior of their parents :p
Shmatterhorn 38
There are plenty of places where kids can see things they may want to try (but shouldn't). YouTube, Jackass, books, movies, and their friends come to mind. Yes, parents should be more influential, but do not count out others to show how to be stupid.
katelng09 16
"Today, I had to go to the ER. Why? Because I was trying to be funny and light my farts on fire. FML"
I_own_a_dog 11
Been waiting for the follow up on this one all day.. Will keep checking until there is one..
AbortionSurvivor 13
My mate tried to show off by attempting this and ended up ******** himself because he tried too hard to force out a fart. He has never lived it down
myshinynose 11
I guess you could say his plan backfired.
Skycop_S 23
Why is nobody realizing how ridiculously amazing this pun is
myshinynose 11
I think #3 might have used it first :c I checked to see if anyone had before I posted but I guess I missed that comment lol