Today, I smelled chicken nuggets and asked my boyfriend if he was making some. He wasn't. It was my armpits. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to sniff his armpit to see if he was the one who smelled. I did because we are that comfortable with us. After a couple of sniffs I heard laughter. I forgot I was sitting in his living room and his family was watching me the whole time. I am now the BO finder. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were in the shower, we began to get a bit frisky. That was until I lifted my arms and he immediately made one of his "Chewbacca Calls." He was referring to my armpits that I had forgotten to shave. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me why girls don't have armpit hair. FML
Today, while cooking supper with my boyfriend, we both smelled something funny. He tasted the sauce I was making, then asked me to taste it because something was off. I guess the burned Teflon of our cheap pot mixed with Ro-Tel just doesn't work that well. Now we're having dry chicken and plain noodles. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend and his friends talking in the next room. I smiled when my boyfriend called me beautiful, only to hear his friend laugh and say, "C'mon, dude. She has fat ankles and smells like deli meat." FML
Today, my boyfriend had his arm around me. He pulled me closer, so I looked up, thinking maybe he wanted a kiss. Turns out he was picking his nose over my head. FML
Today, I was sick with the flu so my boyfriend announced that he would make me some chicken soup. It was touching until I stumbled to the kitchen and found out that his "chicken soup" was actually leftover KFC bones boiled in water. FML
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Top comments
noobsatin 19
that's a bad choice in deodorant.
misspulkadot24 17
Except your armpit isn't finger licking good ya nasty. Use some Dove on that shit.
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Comments (139)
olpally 33
Go take a shower. Lol. Do something.
ThatFancyPenn 18
Ever heard of deaoderant?
ndomer 6
Nope never.
markvds2 5
nope, never...
x_the_lancer_x 13
No but what's it used for? Company name?
ThatFancyPenn 18
Gee guys I'm sorry I thought people on the Internet had a sense of humor.
ptoka 20
Noor, it wasn't until I reread it with your quotations did I read "deoderant" with a southern accent and make myself chuckle... Thanks, I did need that.
QuietLittleMouse 7
And you, good sir, shalt hereafter be learned in the proper wise to use "thou." English shareth its origins in common with such noble tongues as Italian and French. And in this common root lieth the remnants of a familiar case of pronounery, reserved for parties of second persons. Indeed, these terms hold kinship with the forms of tú in Romantic Spanish. Thus, being in mind to hold discourse in language correctly observed, familiarly addressing another person as "thou" must be reserved for cases of family or friends close in such wise as to have your love. All other persons are properly addressed as "you," as is right and courteous. ...Not that this has anything to do with chicken-nugget-armpits. I'm just flying my nerd flag.
ElizabethNL93 20
I hear that deodorant really helps to get rid of chicken nugget-scented armpits.
misspulkadot24 17
Unless you're using chicken nugget deodorant. Then...well you get it.
graceinsheepwear 34
That's like that Dimitri Martin bit. Coconut soap is great unless you're trying to wash the smell of coconuts off your hands.
JohnTheLad 13
We got a doctor ova' here!
tinyrosie 21
I'm not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing..
graceinsheepwear 34
I'm gonna come down squarely on the bad side.
hcollins1 18
If you're to the point you can smell your own BO, and have it smell like chicken nuggets, it's time to start showering regularly.
spluver0005 17
Taking showers and wearing deodorant are two great things
perdix 31
I'm in love with you, honey ... mustard ;)
Anthony805 8
Actually, I believe all FML's end with... FML
gracehi 33
I just threw up a little inside my mouth.
Xotoolyxo 16
That is absolutely disgusting, deodorant and body sprays are a good investment