Today, I learned two important facts: #1 - A grown man can, in fact, get beaten up by a teenage girl, and #2 - If someone is convinced you are someone else, there is no telling them otherwise. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got mugged in broad daylight, in a park, by a teenage girl. To top it off, I'm a grown man. FML
Today, I tried to stop a teenage boy from entering the woman's bathroom. When he argued with me I had him thrown out. Turns out, according to their parents and driver's license, it was a girl. FML
Today, while out shopping, I could hear what sounded like two grown men talking about me, and they were being pretty gross. I turned around to scold them and it turned out being a dad and his 13-year-old son. He said he was, "teaching a son to be a man", and that my ass was "grounds for discussion." FML
Today, I got mugged. Trying to be brave, I attacked my mugger, who then broke my nose. Suddenly, I was saved by someone: A 15 year-old goth girl who promptly tackled the mugger to the ground. I'm a 21 year old man. FML
Today, my family and I ran into an older man my parents knew. He continually asked me questions like do you play football, have you started shaving yet, etc. I thought he was joking. He told my parents I had grown into quite a young man. I am a girl and he wasn't joking. FML
Today, I've come to accept that I'll likely never be intimidating or taken seriously, because despite being 6'3" and 205 lbs, I have the face of a 12 year-old. I'm 25. FML
Today, I got punched in the face, had hair ripped out of my skull and broke a tooth on the pavement when I fell. Some guy mistook me for someone else. FML
Today, an internet repair tech thought my dad was my husband, and seemed skeptical when I corrected him. People usually think I'm way younger than my actual age. FML
Today, I went out to meet a wonderful woman I'd chatted with online. I did have a few fears about if she was really just some guy trying to make a fool out of me. When I met her, she really was a girl, and was happy to see me. Problem: she was actually 13. I'm 34. FML
Today, I attempted to threaten my daughter's boyfriend to keep him from breaking her heart. I'm a 230-pound former soldier. He's a karate black belt. My family watched me get beat up by a 120-pound teenager. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Mirorbo 27
Young darlings can be scary things, dear. You have my sympathy.
freakizoid_5000 0
ouch
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (129)
freakizoid_5000 0
ouch
caseyxoxo 0
Hahaha you got your ass kicked by a girl?
brianna12 0
haha win for the girl
orgyz 0
Never underestimate the hormones of a teenage girl.
cincin75 0
Marry her.
pertained 12
she mistook you for someone else and beat you up? Bet she couldn't hear your persuasiveness through your tearful pleas.
grace9856 0
hahaha, sorry op but that is pretty funny
iSitt 0
is the op Michael Cera ?
thatisjank 0
Did she think you were Edward Cullen??
azim2424 0
Y'all look cute
buddybudda 0
get a personal trainer. ydi for not defending forself pussy
Sleep_EyEs16 0
hey now, no need to hate. what if the teenage girl was like... a she-tank?
n_maher 0
ok while I agree, if a female is acting like a piece of trash, trying to fight with a guy she deserves to be put back in her place, and cannot expect the guy to just stand there and have to take it. Although in the end, in general society (notice I say general, to all of those "that's unfair not everyone" people) I do not think it is ok for a male to hit a female with full force as "generally" unfortunetly females are weaker, and not able to take a punch from a guy. if a guy was being a wanker in a bar and I slapped him in the face, I would not expect to be punched back... if you get me, use your discression imo it's not all so black and white. if you don't act like an out of control physco female picking fights then you don't have to worry about being hit. so fyl op that sucks she clearly deserves to be put back in her place or taught to check her facts first... gross girl.
WoRmWooD_fml 0
I love u
spartabreda 3
maybe its time to get off the couch and hit the gym
bombtastic 10
lol, honestly, she's a dumb broad. obviously she shouldve been the one to get her ass kicked for being so stupid. what kind of idiot just goes ahead with what they're doing even if they don't know the guy? ignorant son of a bitch. I'd press charges for harassment and be like yeah, you know me now as the guy you assumed I was your ex or some dumb shit.
spartabreda 3
#67 once at a party this one chick got up in some guys face and was punching him in the face 4 or 5 times. he was pushing her away and she just wouldn't give up. guy just knocked her out afterwards.
mrguy266 0
Exactly, i would never hit a girl, the only reason I would if it was purely needed..but I probably would still feel bad afterwards.. Props OP for not retaliating..
SmileForMee 0
# 29 - How does he deserve it for looking like the person? He deserves it by not being able to defend himself. Jusssssayin'.
Krajjan 9
This is why I taught my girlfriend Brazilian Jujitsu and Muay Thai. Now she can kick all the ass I'm legally or ethically unable to kick. Everytime a female strikes me and I don't deserve it, my little blond ninja proceeds to lay waste upon the land. Best idea ever.
muppemupp 1
Hitgirl?
JohnGraveline 0
OP, I live in oregon too! but I manage not to get beat up like you.
brigittebabe09 0
^^^^^ # 96 haha good idea, until lets say something happens between you to. then she could kick your ass, especially if you piss her off.
vincee32 0
14. lmao
Itzmeh 0
I feel sorry for men. Girls beat up guys and nothings wrong. Guys beat up girls and it's abuse. Psh boys can't even defend themselves without being reported >.>
alphastryk 0
Well, there's lots of double standards. Just like if a girl and guy have sex she's a **** and he's suddenly congratulated.
apfunction 0
85, I think you mean "props for being a pussy". you don't have to hit a girl to not get your ass kicked. he could have at least restrained her.
lizzilla8297 2
I could probably beat u up and I'm not even a teenager yet. (12)
Skimbap 0
A woman randomly walks over to a man, punches him in the face and kicks him while he's down, she's regarded as a hero to her peirs, yet a man walks up to a woman and simply raises his voice towards her, he can be charged for verbal abuse. Women are always bitching about equality, so then suck it up when you get punched in the face or go back to your kitchen.
fawfulster 11
I agree. And I'm a guy. What pisses me off the most is when girls ask for "equality" and shit, like the feminists, but when guys treat her "equally" or punch them for being bitches, they pull out what I like to call "the woman card", which consists of extreme whining of how they're females and should be respected for being so when they were the ones asking to be treated that way. So, it's OK for women to punch guys but NOT the other way around? **** THAT! If a girl deserves to be punched (like the girl in OP's case) then kick her ass!
anonymous010193 0
equality does not mean women can hit men and men can hit women back. equality is about women having the same life opportunities as men, job wise and income wise. don't you think women should have that? double standards, on the other hand, will always exist. men can't hit women. thats a standard, thats what you have to do to be considered as a decent guy. and this double standard makes sense, doesn't it? most guys should be able to restrain a girl without hurting her or actually hitting her. plus, theres a reason why theres so much attention on violence against women, because there ARE a lot of violence against women, especially domestic. if those guys would stop hitting girls then there wouldnt be such emphasis in society about how men cannot hit women. ps its the guys' fault that women hitting men isn't considered as an issue. when a guy can't restrain a girl and gets beat up by her, he's too mucho and embarrassed to report it. If you don't report it, then how do you expect people to see it as a problem?
osguy 0
only in oregon
Hades321 0
omg have even been to Oregon i mean come on
Splayd 10
People say that, but I've never experienced it.
wts4brkfst 0
first all u bitches out there mothafucka!!!!! add me on ps3: wts_4_brkfst
0darkfire0 0
lolfail
youcantbuyclass 0
hahaha
slayer447 17
your mom's for breakfast because you fail
alphabravo76 0
what's for breakfast? some FAIL bran!!!!! douche!!!
thrice324 0
Lol was she Hit Girl from kick ass? Only then would you not be a complete wimp.
NiaBeeX0X0 0
27 ftw :)
Mirorbo 27
Young darlings can be scary things, dear. You have my sympathy.
lukemc1 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Dude beaten up by a teen girl? pussy...
cass1_l0ve 13
Are you implying girls arent as strong as guys? Cause I myself have won plenty of fights against very large men.
capslockisgood 19
He said "teen girl", generally people who aren't fully grown are not as prominent in fighting as those who are. Also, USUALLY, females are not as strong as males. USUALLY. Calm down everyone.
PYLrulz 17
agreed, but then there is that small matter of the idiots who are convinced that regardless, you are in the wrong
buggybeauty 0
sorry, dude.
trippydoll 4
HAHA I WAS THAT TEENAGE GIRL N I BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF U OP AHAHAHAA
alphabravo76 0
you're a teenager???
Luke16eirb7deneuwn1 20
you DO realize he could sue you for that, right?
FYLDeep 26
Did she think you were a total pussy? Judging from point #1, you'd have a tough time arguing against that.
TaterSalad187 5
you don't necessarily have to hit her back. you can just restrain her. there are various techniques for restraining someone without harming them too much.
laurachiica15 0
girls can fight;)
aardvarkish 17
Tru dat! Even in real combat.
upintheorange 5
yeah. my science teacher is 5'5 (viva la short people!) and she was best in hand-to-hand combat in her platoon. I make sure not to piss her off.
AziraLevana 2
34: 5'5" is short? I'm not quite 5'3"! What's the cut-off for dwarfism? :P
jplumbob 4
18 you can fight with me any time. yum
eharmonee 0
I'm only 5'3 haha but I have done martial arts for 7 years and amgonna start doing mma soon so it's true girls can fight(: