Today, my mom bought me pepper spray in case anyone tried to "mess" with me. I put it in my purse. Later, a guy snatched my purse before I even had the chance to take out the pepper spray. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got mugged. But luckily I had on my keyring the pepper spray that my husband had insisted I keep with me. Unlucky for me, my husband's co-worker, who borrowed my keys, emptied my pepper by spraying it on a brick wall one day when he was bored. FML
Today, to protect me from the 'bad people' out there, my mom bought some pepper spray. While trying to test it, I accidentally sprayed myself in the eyes. Now, every person I meet asks me what I've been crying about. FML
Today, after lunch with my frail, disabled, 87-year-old father, I reached into my purse for lipstick. I didn't recognize the cute cylinder I pulled out, but thinking it was a flashlight, I pressed the little button, spraying my dad and myself in the face with pepper spray. FML
Today, I saw a toddler bolt in a parking lot. Since he was running towards the road behind me, I scooped him up to hand off to his mother. She shrieked, snatched him from my hands, and sprayed me with mace. While I was writhing in pain, some punk kid lifted my wallet and phone. FML
Today, my roommate showed me that her pepper spray had expired, so I decided to test it on myself. It worked. FML
Today, while on the bus, I took out my breath spray. The elderly lady beside me thought it was pepper spray. She panicked and started screaming, which culminated in the man near her punching me in the jaw. FML
Today, I got mugged. As the guys who took my purse were about to walk away, my cellphone rang in my pocket. FML
Today, I went to eat out. When I sat down, I realized I forgot my straw. I took my purse with me, not wanting it to get stolen. Someone stole my food instead. FML
Today, while on vacation with my family, my mother told me to put my phone in her purse, so it wouldn't get stolen. Someone stole her purse. FML
Today, the only parking spot available at the supermarket had some shopping carts in it, so I got out of my car and moved them. As soon as I finished, a lady stole the spot. When I confronted her, she maced me with pepper spray and walked off. FML
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Top comments
cudi504 4
Next time hold it at eye level at all times
cudi504 4
Thanks iv been working out
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Comments (120)
flockz 20
don't be so salty. next time tape it to your forehead to spice things up, and for easier access.
Jillmorgan69 3
Haha I be laughing if this was my sister
cntryiscntrywide 0
id beat them senseless. I don't carry a purse anyways
That0therguy 4
I'm sure you would big man.
getoustahere 7
Should've whacked him with your purse. Pepper spray can was in there, right?
loserman67 36
The guy did what to your snatch???
WadeWilson_fml 6
She meant he stole it and ran away.. learn some bloody basic english.
getoustahere 7
You shouldn't be surprised, loon at his name. Lol
getoustahere 7
Look*
gabrielbaby 9
You realise it's a joke right? Don't go berating a comment, calling the author stupid, if your to stupid to understand what they say.
getoustahere 7
Of course I realize it's a joke, dumbass. And don't call me stupid, when you don't know how to spell. It's "you're", Dumbass.
KiddNYC1O 22
Also, too*
getoustahere 7
And: realize*
Calyx_fml 22
Maybe he'll do the right thing and pepper spray himself
abby1029 8
you could of just kick his balls grab your purse and run away .
KiddNYC1O 22
No. Usually, the thieves who take the purse are the first ones to run.
hoonyer 17
By the time i read the part where he snatched your purse i was thinking, " and here comes the part where he uses your pepperspray against you. " Saddly I was dissapointed
KiddNYC1O 22
Karate chop the neck.
1JDub 6
For Petes Sake.....she didnt get you the handy, easily accesible belt pouch that comes standard with rent a cops? Cheap ass....FYL