Today, I got stung by a bee on the tip top of my penis. No one understands why I am limping. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in the middle of sex, a bee stung me on the vulva. Definitely not the kind of prick I was expecting to get. FML
Today, a bee landed on my leg. I didn't realize it was there until my friend yelled out, "Bee!" kicked me in the leg, and ran off. I fell to the ground screaming and clutching my leg. She missed the bee and it still stung me. FML
Today, I accidentally stepped on a dead bee. The stinger was still intact. How do I know? It stung my foot. I'm allergic to bees. FML
Today, I wanted to take a nice hot relaxing bath. A wasp somehow got in, and stung me on the nuts. FML
Today, I got a lovely little surprise after I got out of the shower. That lovely little surprise? I got stung in the scrotum by a hornet that had decided to nestle itself inside the towel I was drying off with. FML
Today, I had to call the doctor regarding my penis. Not because of erectile dysfunction or an erection lasting more than four hours, but because of the multiple fire ant bites I woke up to after falling asleep in my backyard. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were on a picnic date out in the country, things got a little heated. When we were switching positions, he screamed and started running around. Turns out neither of us noticed the beehive in the tree above us until his dick got stung. FML
Today, I saw a wasp on the ground, apparently injured and unable to fly. It was being mobbed by ants and looked certain to die, so I stamped on the ants to save its life. At this point it sprung up, stung me, then flew off. FML
Today, a wasp stung my nipple. Twice. The swelling makes it look like I'm growing a third breast. FML
Today, I got an ingrown hair. It wouldn’t be so bad, if it were anywhere other than my penis. FML
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Top comments
poopface82 25
I have to ask, how exactly does that happen?
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
I love how you just casually dropped that in there as if it's perfectly normal. It's really not.
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Comments (4)
cuz803 46
Explain you experienced a growth spurt in your penis and it's hard to carry your big dick around unless you get a companion to help you out. There, helped you score a date
poopface82 25
I have to ask, how exactly does that happen?
RichardPencil 32
I don't, either. Unless you use your "third leg" as literally a third leg.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
I love how you just casually dropped that in there as if it's perfectly normal. It's really not.