Today, in an effort to rearrange my bedroom, I planned to reroute my internet cables under my house. Then I found out about the black widow infestation. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I thought the earwig infestation that had plagued my basement apartment for weeks had finally solved itself. Turns out the black widow infestation took care of it for me. Time to move. FML
Today, after having a 3-day vacation and feeling a bit bummed that it was over, I got home to find a black widow watching her babies hatch in my office window. FML
Today, I was glad to find out that all the bedbugs have been eaten. Now I have a spider infestation. FML
Today, I was reaching into the floor vent in my toddler's room to retrieve some toys she'd dropped. What I found instead was a clump of large dead spiders. FML
Today, I found thousands of ants in a secret nest in an unused corner of my apartment. They were feeding on the baking mix I forgot in a box from moving in two months ago, and the queen has been laying her eggs on my wireless router. FML
Today, I learned that my house's fly infestation is worse than I thought. I now have maggots crawling and dropping from my ceiling. I have to sleep under them. FML
Today, the spiders in my house are so big that they catch wasps in their webs. FML
Today, I went out to inspect the backyard. There are now more than two dozen spiders hanging out and webs crossing from one side of the yard to the other. I have decided to surrender this territory. FML
Today, I'm scared to leave my bedroom. During the night, what must have been a giant spider made a web 4 feet wide stretching from the lightbulb to the tv and then down to the desk corner. It's blocking my path to the door and I can't tell where the 8-legged bastard is hiding. FML
Today, I rolled up a newspaper and smashed a huge spider in my room. As I went to scoop it up with a tissue, it lurched away and fell near my bed. I can't find it, but I can sure as fuck sense the pure evil coming from it. Looks like I'll be sleeping on the couch tonight. FML
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Top comments
cfojo 19
Who needs internet anyway? Or even a house in this case.
Ciel_Phantombooty 0
I think a flamethrower is a little bit better of an investment than internet at this point OP.
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Comments (21)
arandomperson97 19
Talk about joining the web!
jcash52426 5
Sound like it time to move!!!!!!!!
Ms_Monster 6
Burn it. Burn it all. Everything. EVERYTHING.
src2499 8
get out while you still can. good luck op
Brandi_Faith 34
Black widows are poisonous right? So why haven't you called an exterminator or something? It sounds like you've known about the infestation for awhile. It's dangerous not just for you, but your neighbours and any kids around, so I would think it would be really important to get rid of them right away since their bites can sometimes even be fatal. Either way, even if an exterminator has come, I'd still never be able to sleep there again. Time to move!
fancybest 14
Yes Black Widows are poisonous. I don't understand why you think he has known for awhile. He stated that while re-routing the cables he found out.
Brandi_Faith 34
Ah, my bad, I thought it said, "I 'forgot' about the black widow infestation," which made me think he knew about it and just left it. That's why I was so confused! I'm like, who knows about an infestation of poisonous spiders under their house and just leaves and goes on with their day. Lol. The fml makes a lot more sense now. Thanks for bringing it to my attention and not freaking on me like some people do.
Brandi_Faith 34
Ah, my bad. I thought it said "I 'forgot' about the black widow infestation." That's why I was so confused. I'm like, who learns they have a poisonous spider infestation under their house and then just goes on with their day and leaves it?! Lol. The fml makes a lot more sense now. Thanks for bringing it to my attention and not freaking on me for my error like some people here do. :)
YouPlayedYourself 3
Nuke it
fishyrael 29
You can rearrange your bedroom in your new house. Y'know, after you burn down this one.