Today, I helped my friend, who is a slob, move out of my house. I found the source of the funky smell she's been complaining about, under her bed. It was her vibrator. I found it with my bare hands. I had to bleach my hands twice and I still don't feel clean. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was at my job as senior care, I was in a client's home vacuuming the carpet and found a very used vibrator that belonged to his wife. It wasn't clean. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were in bed after a long stretch of abstinence, finally heating things up. I went to the wardrobe to grab the vibrator (I love using it on her) and slowly revealed it: mold-covered, an absolute biohazard. The night ended with me fixing a leak behind the wardrobe. FML
Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML
Today, my wife complained that the shower was draining slowly, so I took the drain cover off and snaked the drain. I pulled out a giant blob of reeking, stinking, rotten filth. My wife saw it and screamed. Now she insists she can still smell it on my hands and won't let me near her. FML
Today, my girlfriend left me. Knowing that I am a germaphobe, she took all of my cleaning supplies and spread mud and trash everywhere. FML
Today, I cleaned my entire apartment hoping to find the source of the terrible odor I've been smelling for the past week. It's me. FML
Today, I came home to the vilest stench I've ever smelled. I had to open a floor vent and scoop up the turd that was inside. Funnily enough, today was the day my scumbag roommate moved out, but I'm sure he had absolutely nothing to do with it. FML
Today, I had to clean out my husband's brother's room as he is moving. The room was filled with childish toys, mould and years of dust covered everything. Behind and under every piece of furniture were earwax encrusted cotton swabs, hundreds of them. Oh yeah, he's moving in with us. FML
Today, I went into my parents room to empty their wastebasket. Next to it and around their bed, I found tissues that were soaked in an unknown sticky substance. I had to pick them up. FML
Today, my sister surprised me by cleaning my room and doing my laundry. She found my journal, condoms and vibrator and decided to share her findings with my family. Oh yes... she also shrunk half my wardrobe. FML
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Top comments
yumgranolabar 5
That's all kinds of nasty.
BabySparkle1 15
Hasn't she ever heard of cleaning the vibrator? Or using vagisil "down there"? That's really disgusting.
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Comments (140)
SweetlyPsycho 4
Who puts a vibrator under their bed Right after using it?! That seems really unsanitary...
bubbiebear 7
Didn't she relize she was missing a vibrator?
SkoomaKi 28
She probably has others hidden throughout the house..
absolutegrrr 7
Perhaps you'll find one in the kitchen cupboard?
Elisabethandrine 29
Apparently not.. It seems as if she was to big of a slob to even care to look or think of the nasty stuff she has laying around her room
musicluvr2000 11
16- out of pure curiosity, what do you have against "slobs"?
just_dandy20 2
Good gosh! Someone should of taught her proper hygiene growing up. Wtf is with women not knowing simple proper care for themselves. Disgraceful, and sad. Hope you had no cuts on your hands. Just in case..
Bekll 31
It's "should have" and please don't generalize as if all women do this.
Marrach 7
Guys are the same hun, more guys don't take care of their hygiene than females.So don't go talking trash about girls. But in this case, I shower everyday.. And as for her maybe once a week.Hookers/prostitutes/hoes/strippers/exotic dancers/SLOBS
MelissaHope1986 8
Just my two sense. I work with at a financial institution. With my second job I work with allot of dancers and to generalize strippers as dirty is very judgmental. I guarantee you it is a whole lot easier to pick up a waitress for a one night stand then a stripper in most cases. That's the first mistake people like you make. Judging someone on how they make a living. They shower before and after each show. They take incredible care of their body. They are there to look good they would not go out being dirty or smelling bad. Of course there is always someone who makes the rest look bad, there is in most careers. The ones who do heavy drugs or drink allot but the ones I met you wouldn't meet on the street and think wow she's a stripper.
Meme1988 18
Omg,I have now stomach pain:(poor you
Mokashiya 5
If it smelt that bad, then maybe someone needs to tell get about proper hygiene, or she needs to see a doctor... Or both.
bryan788 29
wow, is your friends nick name tuna? If her vibrator smelled that bad, what does her pussy smell like?
Raori 25
Wonder if it's put her off eating fish? Unlucky op.
agonydrum 7
21 bravo, I didn't think of that but now that I have I'm not sure I'll ever be able to have sex again lol
JOEGERNAUTT 1
Maybe she put it in her ass and never washes it 8x
talloctopus 7
I seriously nearly vomited.. Eeewwwwww
thomasnia55 13
Lmao.
andiewithlove 21
The only thing to do now is cut your hands off, burn them, and bury the ashes deep underground. Finish it by filling the hole with cement. Hands are so overrated anyways! High five!:D ......oh...wait...
ALlamaOnFire 20
I'd like to see her bury the ashes underground with no hands;D