Today, I helped my friend, who is a slob, move out of my house. I found the source of the funky smell she's been complaining about, under her bed. It was her vibrator. I found it with my bare hands. I had to bleach my hands twice and I still don't feel clean. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was at my job as senior care, I was in a client's home vacuuming the carpet and found a very used vibrator that belonged to his wife. It wasn't clean. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were in bed after a long stretch of abstinence, finally heating things up. I went to the wardrobe to grab the vibrator (I love using it on her) and slowly revealed it: mold-covered, an absolute biohazard. The night ended with me fixing a leak behind the wardrobe. FML
Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML
Today, my wife complained that the shower was draining slowly, so I took the drain cover off and snaked the drain. I pulled out a giant blob of reeking, stinking, rotten filth. My wife saw it and screamed. Now she insists she can still smell it on my hands and won't let me near her. FML
Today, my girlfriend left me. Knowing that I am a germaphobe, she took all of my cleaning supplies and spread mud and trash everywhere. FML
Today, I cleaned my entire apartment hoping to find the source of the terrible odor I've been smelling for the past week. It's me. FML
Today, I came home to the vilest stench I've ever smelled. I had to open a floor vent and scoop up the turd that was inside. Funnily enough, today was the day my scumbag roommate moved out, but I'm sure he had absolutely nothing to do with it. FML
Today, I had to clean out my husband's brother's room as he is moving. The room was filled with childish toys, mould and years of dust covered everything. Behind and under every piece of furniture were earwax encrusted cotton swabs, hundreds of them. Oh yeah, he's moving in with us. FML
Today, I went into my parents room to empty their wastebasket. Next to it and around their bed, I found tissues that were soaked in an unknown sticky substance. I had to pick them up. FML
Today, my sister surprised me by cleaning my room and doing my laundry. She found my journal, condoms and vibrator and decided to share her findings with my family. Oh yes... she also shrunk half my wardrobe. FML
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Top comments
yumgranolabar 5
That's all kinds of nasty.
BabySparkle1 15
Hasn't she ever heard of cleaning the vibrator? Or using vagisil "down there"? That's really disgusting.
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Comments (140)
ChristineAnn58 8
The fact that she's never cleaned it or her ****** can make it smell that bad throughout the room makes me nauseated.
mrslewis 16
I wouldnt want to know whats goin on in her panties lol yuck
madrox95 2
Ohmergerd! I just puked. I am sure this woman has something wrong with her snatch.
mikepzz 27
ewww haha damn, im not sure Id be able to eat finger food ever again if that happened to me...goodluck with the pizza :)
darawbs 0
Oh god that's disgusting. FYL, dear OP. Maybe pick up a biohazard box from your local dangerous-chemical-testing facility and send it to her? :D
mikeymayhem_87 15
Haha... That would be funny as hell!!
selahsmithereens 1
What I find really upsetting from all if this, funky sex toy aside, is that why didn't the owner of the toy know what was making her room smell so bad? Then again if she had a horrible odor going on down there she probably doesn't check herself out to know she smells.
myers007 2
Oh that's nasty...
answeryourphone 3
Does she ever clean down there?
jarockstar27 10
Well OP if it makes you feel any better, the top skin layer is constantly coming off or micro shedding so in like two days the skin that touched that nasty ass viberator....(shiver) Should be gone, or in some professions it exfoliates. You should tell that friend off! Nasty!
mikeymayhem_87 15
Eww.... I don't feel clean thinking about it! Now excuse me while try not to ralf up my breakfast.... Sorry OP!!