Today, my older brother told me that the only reason I like cats is because they control minds. I laughed. He was serious. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw my little brother playing with my new kitten. He is only five and isn't very gentle so I took the cat away and told him "You can't play with the cat! I don't think he likes you very much!" in a joking tone. The cat then bit and clawed my face. FML
Today, I had to temporarily block my brother from calling me because every day for the last week or two he has called me just to yell, "THEY ARE EATING THE DOGS! THEY ARE EATING THE CATS!" before hanging up. He thinks it's hilarious. FML
Today, my 20-year-old sister is taking care of my cat while I am out of state. She sent a photo of him "playing in a silly way" with her kitty. I then had to very seriously explain to her that in the photo, my cat and her cat were trying to make more cats. FML
Today, I had to call a few different women and explain to them that my little brother had catfished them. I had to do it because he is mute and my parents were too busy screaming at him. FML
Today, I'm watching my brother's cat while he's gone. I'm a seasoned cat veteran, having been around cats my whole life, but I never thought I would ever have to say, "Bob, why did you jump into the trashcan again?" with complete seriousness. This cat is WEIRD. And I've seen quite a few oddball cats before. FML
Today, my little brother was playing with my cat, getting it to chase a laser pointer. He thought it would be funny to shine the laser pointer over my nuts. FML
Today, my younger brother and I got into a fight over who the favorite child is. My mom overheard, came in the living room and said, "It's your little brother, now shut up." She was serious. FML
Today, my mom accused my cat of being a "manipulator", and said that we should get rid of him. FML
Today, my brother and I got in a fight and he told my friends that I am mentally disabled. They believed him. Apparently, "everything makes sense now." FML
Today, I learned the hard way that your little brother is not joking when he threatens to shave your eyebrows if you don't let him watch cartoons. FML
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Top comments
Aeroxx1337 17
Cats can't control minds, that's ridiculous. A cat isn't making me type this. Please help.
Pwn17 25
I can haz cheezburger... You gives it now... I commandz it.
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Comments (65)
Bostern 29
Just 'cause he doesn't like pussy.
tehdarkness 21
They are definitely evil, but mind control is pushing it. I kinda think they're all like Stewy from Family Guy.
graceinsheepwear 34
But there's no way to prove he isn't right, is there? (cue twilight zone music)
Aeroxx1337 17
Cats can't control minds, that's ridiculous. A cat isn't making me type this. Please help.
cottoncandymango 17
He may know you a little all too well...
ILoveMyArm 15
Why the sudden upchuck of cat posts?
mdcdeve 10
Cats can affect the mind in a way, look into toxoplasmosis.
mosquito19 14
did you tell him it's controlling his mind?
Accuraxy 10
They control my crazy cat lady neighbor's mind O_O
Wakachulak 22
Cats? There goes the IQ...