Today, my older brother told me that the only reason I like cats is because they control minds. I laughed. He was serious. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw my little brother playing with my new kitten. He is only five and isn't very gentle so I took the cat away and told him "You can't play with the cat! I don't think he likes you very much!" in a joking tone. The cat then bit and clawed my face. FML
Today, I had to temporarily block my brother from calling me because every day for the last week or two he has called me just to yell, "THEY ARE EATING THE DOGS! THEY ARE EATING THE CATS!" before hanging up. He thinks it's hilarious. FML
Today, my 20-year-old sister is taking care of my cat while I am out of state. She sent a photo of him "playing in a silly way" with her kitty. I then had to very seriously explain to her that in the photo, my cat and her cat were trying to make more cats. FML
Today, I had to call a few different women and explain to them that my little brother had catfished them. I had to do it because he is mute and my parents were too busy screaming at him. FML
Today, I'm watching my brother's cat while he's gone. I'm a seasoned cat veteran, having been around cats my whole life, but I never thought I would ever have to say, "Bob, why did you jump into the trashcan again?" with complete seriousness. This cat is WEIRD. And I've seen quite a few oddball cats before. FML
Today, my little brother was playing with my cat, getting it to chase a laser pointer. He thought it would be funny to shine the laser pointer over my nuts. FML
Today, my younger brother and I got into a fight over who the favorite child is. My mom overheard, came in the living room and said, "It's your little brother, now shut up." She was serious. FML
Today, my mom accused my cat of being a "manipulator", and said that we should get rid of him. FML
Today, my brother and I got in a fight and he told my friends that I am mentally disabled. They believed him. Apparently, "everything makes sense now." FML
Today, I learned the hard way that your little brother is not joking when he threatens to shave your eyebrows if you don't let him watch cartoons. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Aeroxx1337 17
Cats can't control minds, that's ridiculous. A cat isn't making me type this. Please help.
Pwn17 25
I can haz cheezburger... You gives it now... I commandz it.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (65)
clueless05 12
Well, it's true! How else would they convince us to let them leave fur all over our houses and feed them?
kaynorr 9
Are you my sister?
SrakaSrakasta 20
Didn't you know that OP? Silly hooman.
Pordexel 5
Cats can't control minds. They are our friendspleasehelpithasagun
petragirl 1
Toxoplasma gondii, look it up. People who have it are more likely to have cats because it allows the parasite to complete its lifecycle.
redbandit9877 12
You see? They already have you believing your brother is the crazy one. Well played cats, well played.
unixdude 9
Jinn are totally real, but cats being mind readers is silly?
Grimnirwher9 21
Well, he's not entirely wrong, although it's somewhat overstated. Scientists recently discovered that the fur of cats contains a substance that, when assimilated through your skin, as happens when petting a cat, releases endorfine and dopamine, making you feel happy. I suppose you could see this as a mild form of mind control.
RedPillSucks 33
yes, petting the pussy always makes me happy.
Omniprism 15
Actually there is a study out there that cats can control their owners. He's a smart kid. Give him more credit.
Binglebeee 16
Believe it or not, cats may actually release some form of pheramone that makes one change moods towards them. Apparently there were some tests done, but I dunno if it's actually true, something to think about though