Today, as my dad and I were leaving a store, a man asked us if we could donate to an Alzheimer's fund. My dad hates being asked for money, so he immediately hunched over and acted like a dirty, senile old man all the way to the car. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I decided to buy a meal for a homeless man who was being shunned at an intersection. When I went to hand it to him, I realized it was my dad, wearing a tattered old shirt and pretending to be homeless to make some money. FML
Today, a customer gave me the dirtiest look ever and muttered, "Goody two-shoes prick" after I asked if he'd like to donate a few cents to charity. FML
Today, at the supermarket, an old lady asked for directions to the produce aisle. Having read way too many stories lately on this very site about awful elderly folks, I was wary, but helped her out. She gave me an awkward hug in thanks, lifting my wallet in the process, as I later found out. FML
Today, as I served an elderly man at the fast-food restaurant where I work, he leaned over the counter so that his face was mere inches from mine and asked me if I wanted to buy his car. When I politely told him I wasn't interested, he insisted on making a complaint about me to my manager. FML
Today, I drove my dad to Walmart to do some shopping. His leg is still in a cast after an accident, so I helped him to the last mobility scooter. A guy whose only disability was clearly Fat-Fuck Syndrome then yelled at us, claiming he needed it more and that my dad was a faker. FML
Today, an old man looked me dead in the eyes as he reached into my tip jar, grabbed the money, and then walked out of the store as if nothing ever happened. I was so shocked that I couldn't do anything to stop him. FML
Today, an old man wanted to give me a tip for bagging his groceries. He slipped some money as deep into my pocket as he could, stroking my thigh for a few long seconds in the process, then he gave me a creepy smile and winked before walking away. FML
Today, the cashier asked if I wanted to donate $1 to help hungry children. I said, “Not today, thank you.” The man behind me loudly said, “Wow…” Now everyone thinks I hate children. I'm just that broke. FML
Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML
Today, as I spent my last $6 on groceries, the woman at the register gave me a dirty look because I declined to donate $1 to a children's charity. My six year-old son immediately chimed in with, "Mommy, why aren't you helping the poor children?" FML
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Top comments
xxmollyxx 25
My mum usually talks back in German to throw them off. Sometimes they speak back in German. She's lost then, as she only knows a few words. Not too clever either.
DocBastard 40
The worst part about Alzheimer's disease is...uh, I forget.
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Comments (129)
hoper423 3
Dumb question but what does op stand for ?!?
melody309 35
Original Poster :)
pawzluver 7
Omg I thought I was the only one that didn't know!! Hahaha
hoper423 3
Thanks 104 at least I'm not alone :)
melody309 35
112 - No problem! I hate it when people attack others in the comments for asking questions. I thought I'd share a little love. :)
CosMicShelle 5
My husband likes to act like he's mentally challenged; works every time. But that's only when bums are asking him for money or someone is asking him to buy something. Not for donations, though. He just says he doesn't carry cash, which is true.
kyat288 9
This is one fml I could never tell my extreamly embarassing father :$
deegeebee 10
Wait, DIRTY and senile? Did he grope the person or something?
melody309 35
HAHA! No, he pointed at this random girl in the parking lot and called her cute pretty loudly. It was fairly embarrassing.
RckRagman 9
Now see...if it were ME being asked as I left the store, I would have said something along the lines of "Don't you remember? I donated on my way IN."
fordguy302 6
should of told them u did don't u remember
1R1X0X0 10
FYL because it's very lame of your dad not having the balls to say what's on his mind and rather pretending to be mentally disabled.
melody309 35
Now that you mention it, I guess Alzheimer's is a mental handicap. He never makes fun of people who have disabilities though, because my brother has autism. I guess he doesn't consider Alzheimer's a disability.
PhishloverA 14
As mean and disrespectful as that is it seems funny
JuliannVo 11
o-o totally unlike my father LOL
symoalva96 0
JEWWWWW