Today, I found out that my booty call only likes to have sex with me so afterwards he can watch ESPN on my plasma screen TV, because he has neither. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was watching ESPN. My boyfriend came in, bitched about "boring tv," so I handed him the remote. He put on a Lifetime movie. I must be the only woman in America with this problem. FML
Today, I woke up to realize that the guy who took my virginity last night also took my flat screen TV. FML
Today, my husband removed the TV from our bedroom to improve our sex life. Still no sex because he watches TV on his iPhone. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend watches porn. Specifically, today, while I was in the shower. In the next room. We were alone in the house and he still chose porn. FML
Today, my boyfriend turned down sex because he was watching TV and wanted to know how it ended. The show was probably ten years-old and on Netflix. He could watch it anytime he wanted. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were hooking up while watching a movie. Just as I was getting really into it, he told me to move my head. He couldn't see the television. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that the only reason he likes me is because I let him watch porn without throwing a fuss. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend would rather jerk off to porn than to ever touch me, even if I wear a naughty outfit. FML
Today, I learned that my boyfriend waits 'til I am asleep to wack off to porn on the internet. We haven't had sex in months because he doesn't want to. FML
Today, a blowjob from my fiancée turned into exchanged oral, which turned into mutual masturbation while watching porn, which then turned into me being kicked out of the room because it was "weird" with me watching. FML
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Top comments
shananigans 0
Um, it's a BOOTY CALL. Why do you care? There's not supposed to be any emotional attachment.
perdix 31
I have ESPN and an LED TV. Maybe I can come over and compare the two technologies. If I have to give you sex to get in, . . . Well, if I must, I must :(
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Comments (68)
nayy_fml 0
first!!
rawrlily 0
fail comment
glambert1998 0
epic fail
shootintacos 0
gay.^
Erindub 0
classy
22cute 17
See, men can exchange sex for perks, why not women?
uhhSavage 22
Why do you care about the reason he has sex with you? He's just a "booty call."
legendofdon 0
what do you care? it's a booty call, you got yours now quit whining
22cute 17
That's funny, because if Op's friend were a woman you'd all be dising HER.
MikeonFML 17
Girls can get any whenever they want...
lolfmlfail 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
girls can have booty calls?
Rae_of_Sunshine 0
of course girls can have booty calls. most men are worth a damn anyways.
flyboy30364 0
pretty sure it's aren't worth a damn...
22cute 17
Or maybe only worth a damn.
MrPlopper 9
Relationship problems?
perdix 31
I have ESPN and an LED TV. Maybe I can come over and compare the two technologies. If I have to give you sex to get in, . . . Well, if I must, I must :(
zachherbert 10
I mean don't twist his arm or anything.
shananigans 0
Um, it's a BOOTY CALL. Why do you care? There's not supposed to be any emotional attachment.
Johaneva_fml 12
Maybe she thought she was great in bed.
razorp 0
yeah agreed, you got what you want, so let him watch the cowboys play dammit, how bout them cowboys ?
AKiDNamedJoHn 12
What about them? They suck
BrownSugar_fml 5
Umm, I agree who gives a damn you got what you wanted so let the guy enjoy something as well :) not to suggest that he didn't like the sex.... maybe he just really really really likes sports
oldwiseguy 0
But now she has to have the slug hanging around for another two hours. Next time flip the circiut breaker and tell him after you get what you want that the tv is not working.
MikeonFML 17
Selfish as ****