Today, my dad finished installing our new home security system. One of the features lets him control any light in the house from his phone. He keeps trying to piss me off by turning my bedroom light on at random intervals. I don't know how to make it stop, and I can't sleep. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad reactivated a digital clock we had lying around, and accidentally set an alarm on it. For 1 a.m.. So guess who went hunting for that noise in the middle of night. And guess who banished the thing to the living room, then forgot about it, and slept on the sofa in said living room. Or tried to. FML
Today, I asked my dad if he could fix my bed. It had been squeaking for some time. He shook his head no. He then continued with, "Your bed is a security system and as far as I can tell, you haven't gotten any in weeks". FML
Today, and the past few weeks, my dad has been leaving me notes around the house, accusing me of putting the heating on at 3 a.m. and to stop. Except I've not touched the heating for months, and denying it results in both parents screaming that I'm lying. It doesn't occur to them that he's just fucked up the smart schedule. FML
Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML
Today, I installed motion sensor lights in my house to save on energy. When I laid down in bed, I saw the lights turn on from downstairs to the kitchen. I live alone. FML
Today, I tried to hang up a light and, in my clumsiness, got shocked. My dad started screaming at me for yelling out. FML
Today, my dad's work phone went off, and I thought I should go tell him since he's on call. Turns out no matter how you do it, a 47 year old man at one in the morning will think you are a burglar trying to attack him. FML
Today, it's been a week since my dad told me I’m no longer allowed to put my phone on do not disturb when I sleep, and a scam caller woke me up at 7 am. I’ve had a serious migraine ever since because waking up early triggers my migraines. FML
Today, my dad put in wall plug-ins that emit high frequencies that are suppose to ward off mice. I must be a mouse, because I can hear the annoying noise in every room I walk into. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the couch. My parents didn't wake me up, went to bed and set our burglar alarm. If I trip a motion sensor, a siren will go off. The motion sensor in my living room is pointed directly at me and I have to pee. It's been 2 hours. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
fallen45078 8
unscrew the bulb!
howsthisforaname 34
Every time he does it go to the main circuit breaker and flip it, then go back to bed. All power in the house will be out, he will have to get up to turn it on and reset all the flashing clocks, he will very quickly get sick of doing it. No damage done and though there may be an argument involved he can't claim the moral high ground.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (102)
corn_flake 19
Just put Kool-Aid in his shower head lol
BubbaJ80 11
Take out the bulb genius
limitedition 25
Time for dear Dads phone to go missing.
MelTheGreat 23
Go sleep in his room.
Dave_Davington 34
Change the password on his phone.
MrNibNib 4
Just unplug the light when you go to sleep
ravenmee 4
Tell mom,
danthehuman 29
Moderated this one. Also, I'm sure he does it to check up on you maybe.
slipstreak 10
Take his phone and delete the app. Problem solved in less than 10 minutes.
HazNoFriends 4
get the app and turn on his lights