Today, my dad finished installing our new home security system. One of the features lets him control any light in the house from his phone. He keeps trying to piss me off by turning my bedroom light on at random intervals. I don't know how to make it stop, and I can't sleep. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad reactivated a digital clock we had lying around, and accidentally set an alarm on it. For 1 a.m.. So guess who went hunting for that noise in the middle of night. And guess who banished the thing to the living room, then forgot about it, and slept on the sofa in said living room. Or tried to. FML
Today, I asked my dad if he could fix my bed. It had been squeaking for some time. He shook his head no. He then continued with, "Your bed is a security system and as far as I can tell, you haven't gotten any in weeks". FML
Today, and the past few weeks, my dad has been leaving me notes around the house, accusing me of putting the heating on at 3 a.m. and to stop. Except I've not touched the heating for months, and denying it results in both parents screaming that I'm lying. It doesn't occur to them that he's just fucked up the smart schedule. FML
Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML
Today, I installed motion sensor lights in my house to save on energy. When I laid down in bed, I saw the lights turn on from downstairs to the kitchen. I live alone. FML
Today, I tried to hang up a light and, in my clumsiness, got shocked. My dad started screaming at me for yelling out. FML
Today, my dad's work phone went off, and I thought I should go tell him since he's on call. Turns out no matter how you do it, a 47 year old man at one in the morning will think you are a burglar trying to attack him. FML
Today, it's been a week since my dad told me I’m no longer allowed to put my phone on do not disturb when I sleep, and a scam caller woke me up at 7 am. I’ve had a serious migraine ever since because waking up early triggers my migraines. FML
Today, my dad put in wall plug-ins that emit high frequencies that are suppose to ward off mice. I must be a mouse, because I can hear the annoying noise in every room I walk into. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the couch. My parents didn't wake me up, went to bed and set our burglar alarm. If I trip a motion sensor, a siren will go off. The motion sensor in my living room is pointed directly at me and I have to pee. It's been 2 hours. FML
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Top comments
fallen45078 8
unscrew the bulb!
howsthisforaname 34
Every time he does it go to the main circuit breaker and flip it, then go back to bed. All power in the house will be out, he will have to get up to turn it on and reset all the flashing clocks, he will very quickly get sick of doing it. No damage done and though there may be an argument involved he can't claim the moral high ground.
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Comments (102)
aimzskee 30
Turn all the lights on in the house in mid daylight. He'll stop once you keep running up his power bill.
Omniprism 15
Can't you get the app too? And unscrew the lightbulb and install a lamp hopefully it will be separate from the other. Good luck.
sjbartholome 14
The most obvious solution is take a hammer and smash his phone into ity bity pieces. Or unscrew the light bulb. Take your pick.
Federgirl 19
I'd be pissed if that was my dad. I'm such a grouch when I dont get enough sleep! FYL.
Futacy 30
Break every lightbulb in the house.
bootswiththefur 3
Figure out how to disable it or just talk to him OP. Hope you can sleep!
DogeMan 14
Takeout all the lights in ur room
ForbiddenDestiny 20
Unscrew the light bulb?
v8nick97 11
I know how! Take his phone.
dangousity 21
This is what our school teach, the inability to think of unscrewing the light bulb.. Sigh