Today, my dad finished installing our new home security system. One of the features lets him control any light in the house from his phone. He keeps trying to piss me off by turning my bedroom light on at random intervals. I don't know how to make it stop, and I can't sleep. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad reactivated a digital clock we had lying around, and accidentally set an alarm on it. For 1 a.m.. So guess who went hunting for that noise in the middle of night. And guess who banished the thing to the living room, then forgot about it, and slept on the sofa in said living room. Or tried to. FML
Today, I asked my dad if he could fix my bed. It had been squeaking for some time. He shook his head no. He then continued with, "Your bed is a security system and as far as I can tell, you haven't gotten any in weeks". FML
Today, and the past few weeks, my dad has been leaving me notes around the house, accusing me of putting the heating on at 3 a.m. and to stop. Except I've not touched the heating for months, and denying it results in both parents screaming that I'm lying. It doesn't occur to them that he's just fucked up the smart schedule. FML
Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML
Today, I installed motion sensor lights in my house to save on energy. When I laid down in bed, I saw the lights turn on from downstairs to the kitchen. I live alone. FML
Today, I tried to hang up a light and, in my clumsiness, got shocked. My dad started screaming at me for yelling out. FML
Today, my dad's work phone went off, and I thought I should go tell him since he's on call. Turns out no matter how you do it, a 47 year old man at one in the morning will think you are a burglar trying to attack him. FML
Today, it's been a week since my dad told me I’m no longer allowed to put my phone on do not disturb when I sleep, and a scam caller woke me up at 7 am. I’ve had a serious migraine ever since because waking up early triggers my migraines. FML
Today, my dad put in wall plug-ins that emit high frequencies that are suppose to ward off mice. I must be a mouse, because I can hear the annoying noise in every room I walk into. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the couch. My parents didn't wake me up, went to bed and set our burglar alarm. If I trip a motion sensor, a siren will go off. The motion sensor in my living room is pointed directly at me and I have to pee. It's been 2 hours. FML
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Top comments
fallen45078 8
unscrew the bulb!
howsthisforaname 34
Every time he does it go to the main circuit breaker and flip it, then go back to bed. All power in the house will be out, he will have to get up to turn it on and reset all the flashing clocks, he will very quickly get sick of doing it. No damage done and though there may be an argument involved he can't claim the moral high ground.
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Comments (102)
Wingless_Heart 9
Sleep on the couch. The best place to sleep :3
AllStache 11
Well that won't help since his dad can control any room in the house
World_Burner 13
#12, I disagree. I grew up sleeping on the couch, until I got my own room, and it sucked!
thatnucca 36
Going to the source of the light always helps... Unless you're scared to sleep in the dark that is...
FrozenMusic 26
I was thinking maybe wear a sleeping mask? Or put something over the light to block it at night
Angel_Zelaya 9
You people Are so stupid, it's a joke from his dad, and clearly a funny FML stop with your "just talk to him"
xReDMemory 28
Because OP should suffer from lack of sleep and anger merely because his dad thinks it's a funny joke.
kylu7373 16
The FML says that its the first night. its just a joke. Maybe if the dad kept it up for multiple days or weeks, it would be a problem but OP is taking it seriously
xReDMemory 28
I don't see why it would matter if the OP suffered from the joke one night or a couple of nights. If it hurts the OP,it needs to stop.
Quackadoodledoo 13
Unfortunately Angel, the comments on most fmls are like this. "Just talk to them", "that sucks op, I'm sorry", "don't worry, you'll find someone", "it'll get better op". People can't accept that the posters share their stories for a laugh, they actually think they come here for sympathy. It makes for a very boring and repetitive comments section.
xmaan667 15
Construct an intricate and convoluted plan to get back at him so that it eventually leaves him in such fear to mess with your lights that he never does so again
Niniva 8
Might I suggest a tennis ball in the roof vent for Dad's personal toilet? Even a plumber has trouble figuring that one out.
Edumcg 24
I bet he likes Watchdogs. Time to hack his phone?
RageWolf16 31
That's just cruel
Adam5858 17
Break it!!.Or steal it if its a remote and do it to him!
raffcity 7
Deal with it
thatADHDdude 21
Great advice! You have earned yourself an upvote :D
thatADHDdude 21
That was sarcasm, for all the morons who don't undestand the concept.
mekoveya 10
Take out the bulb. He can't turn it on if there's nothing to light.