Today, my dad finished installing our new home security system. One of the features lets him control any light in the house from his phone. He keeps trying to piss me off by turning my bedroom light on at random intervals. I don't know how to make it stop, and I can't sleep. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad reactivated a digital clock we had lying around, and accidentally set an alarm on it. For 1 a.m.. So guess who went hunting for that noise in the middle of night. And guess who banished the thing to the living room, then forgot about it, and slept on the sofa in said living room. Or tried to. FML
Today, I asked my dad if he could fix my bed. It had been squeaking for some time. He shook his head no. He then continued with, "Your bed is a security system and as far as I can tell, you haven't gotten any in weeks". FML
Today, and the past few weeks, my dad has been leaving me notes around the house, accusing me of putting the heating on at 3 a.m. and to stop. Except I've not touched the heating for months, and denying it results in both parents screaming that I'm lying. It doesn't occur to them that he's just fucked up the smart schedule. FML
Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML
Today, I installed motion sensor lights in my house to save on energy. When I laid down in bed, I saw the lights turn on from downstairs to the kitchen. I live alone. FML
Today, I tried to hang up a light and, in my clumsiness, got shocked. My dad started screaming at me for yelling out. FML
Today, my dad's work phone went off, and I thought I should go tell him since he's on call. Turns out no matter how you do it, a 47 year old man at one in the morning will think you are a burglar trying to attack him. FML
Today, it's been a week since my dad told me I’m no longer allowed to put my phone on do not disturb when I sleep, and a scam caller woke me up at 7 am. I’ve had a serious migraine ever since because waking up early triggers my migraines. FML
Today, my dad put in wall plug-ins that emit high frequencies that are suppose to ward off mice. I must be a mouse, because I can hear the annoying noise in every room I walk into. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the couch. My parents didn't wake me up, went to bed and set our burglar alarm. If I trip a motion sensor, a siren will go off. The motion sensor in my living room is pointed directly at me and I have to pee. It's been 2 hours. FML
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Top comments
fallen45078 8
unscrew the bulb!
howsthisforaname 34
Every time he does it go to the main circuit breaker and flip it, then go back to bed. All power in the house will be out, he will have to get up to turn it on and reset all the flashing clocks, he will very quickly get sick of doing it. No damage done and though there may be an argument involved he can't claim the moral high ground.
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Comments (102)
MandyMeow_fml 18
For revenge just start taking the batteries out of everything he uses that requires them. It will slowly drive him insane.
Godsofdracos 15
You... You are so evil it's awesome.
echosong 16
Just do the same to him
kurodansei 16
Cut the power ALL of it. Circuit breaker, fusebox whatever. Take away his toy.
TheTrainKid 20
Flip the switch to the middle?
JJ_86 22
That only works with some old kind of switches. With what he said in post, the equipments are more sophisticated than that. His best option is to unscrew the bulb and get a lamp or get an eye mask. That is of course unless the dad feels bored of the idea and grows up.
DylanHasClass 17
I would turn off the bathroom lights ! Lol
Kiera_abbi 7
Lol just take out the bulb ........
worldclassrager 41
Get a eye mask...a black out one would be ideal...
blackonblight 33
Easiest option is, as already mentioned, loosening the bulb. You don't have to take it out, just unscrew it enough it goes off.
skittyskatbrat 19
Unscrew the bulb. Then find an app that lets your phone call or message his phone at random intervals.
pjsmamasan 10
Lol that's funny, but I'm sure it sucks. totally diverging my dad would do