Today, I asked my father if he was proud that I have never done drugs, never drank alcohol, never had sex, never had psychological problems, never been to the hospital for something serious, never been in a fight and maintain good grades. He told me I was a boring daughter. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home from partying all night, having stayed completely sober. My Dad, blind drunk, told me he was proud of me for staying sober. He claims to have been sober longer than I have. FML
Today, my dad had a little too much to drink. When he's that drunk, he likes to pepper me with a lot of random questions. He asked if I've ever tried hard drugs, and if I want to die. I answered no to both of the questions, and he demanded to know why not. FML
Today, I told my Dad I was an alcoholic and had decided to seek help. His reply, "Don't stop drinking, you are the life of the party, funny and beautiful when you drink." FML
Today, I was arguing with my husband how he has never told our son that he’s proud of him. Without missing a beat, he told me that when our son gets around to doing something he can be proud of, then he’ll tell him he’s proud of him. Our son is a university graduate and trainee doctor. FML
Today, my parents said they know I don't do drugs or drink because I have no friends to do drugs or drink with. They are right. FML
Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML
Today, I talked to my father for the first time in several years. I proudly told him that I have been attending Beauty School. He looked me up and down and said, "Doesn't look like you've learned much." FML
Today, I realized whether it's my father, step-bro/sis and even my own mom don't care what happens to me. I stayed away from drugs, have a marriage that is great and kids I love, but none of them can look at me in any way because I have my father's blood. They have no idea I'm extremely suicidal, because I'm quiet about it. FML
Today, I explained to my dad that I had spent over three hours baking, frosting, and decorating a cake from scratch and how proud I was of it. Without even looking up at me, he replied, "You really need a boyfriend." FML
Today, my dad drunkenly confessed that the reason he never gave me the sex talk was because he figured that I'm too weird-looking and socially awkward to ever get laid. He's right, all too right. FML
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Top comments
ApollosMyth 22
Well, fishing for compliments never turns out as you hoped, does it?
MatteKudasai 17
Well you can rest easy knowing that the FML community are proud of you. Good work!
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Comments (194)
Kaurageous007 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Don't pay any attention to that, OP! It is indeed a great accomplishment. Keep up the good work!
emilyjgraham 34
It is definitely something to be proud of but surely if you'd had or currently had a physiological issue, as it's not something you have control of it's not something one can be proud of? Does that make sense? :/
negb 30
Ya I'm kinda pissed about the psychological problems. Sure, be happy that oh don't have any, they're a pain in the ass but it's not something to be proud of as you don't have any say in it
Coeliacchic93 21
Exactly, ill admit I have plenty of psychological problems (depression, anxiety etc) but its not something I should be ashamed of just as someone without those problems should feel 'proud' they don't have them. If anything they should feel lucky not to have them, I know I would.
KawaiiCupcake 14
What if he was joking.... Probably not...
death943 10
Not to be a downer, but aren't these achievements something you are SUPPOSED to do.. I am just saying.
gmian 34
I agree, 79. YDI, OP. You were just looking for compliments.
chandlerbelacic 17
Oh screw it and go out and have fun OP! Enjoy life to the fullest!
BlockOfRedStone 25
It's also not shameful to have been to the hospital for something serious, because that wouldn't be in your control either. Not unless you were at the hospital for starting a fight or something.
MatteKudasai 17
Well you can rest easy knowing that the FML community are proud of you. Good work!
bombroot 9
Damn ... I wasn't expecting the dad to tell something like that to you...
Binglebeee 16
Well, that's gratiture for you. In a world where you'd be considered a roll model you're called boring. Why do most people's families suck ob here though? seriously
Jaxx66 21
especially when those hot steamy rolls are shimmering in butter, gracefully showing their delectable curves.
Binglebeee 16
And boom goes the typo
ApollosMyth 22
Well, fishing for compliments never turns out as you hoped, does it?
sonnyrosa 32
Ah... this is the response I came here to give...
JustStella 28
Exactly. I bet the only reason he said that was to get her to shut up.
Kalipczo 21
The grass always looks greener on the other side. :P if you were a partying dropout hoe he'd wish you were straight edge.
StzaCrack666 18
She doesn't know about "grass" or "green" she doesn't smoke weed.
Ypetrol 11
Lol that's funny
Zen_Mei 17
Not even remotely!
golferman72 16
That's the truth. Pretty boring
drizzy11 18
You suck
s_reel16 16
Dont worry, every other parent in America would die to have you as their child!
MatteKudasai 17
Forget just America, any other parent in the world!
summerguy97 16
Well, I can see the good grades things, but some other nations (like Japan) would be neutral about the sex thing...or at least part of Japan. I guess it just depends on how the parents see sex...
sumbum95 15
Don't worry my parents think the same way about me. It's not a bad thing just be who you are :)
crackmore278 13
Why is being a partying troublemaker considered fun?
Zebediabolical 45
Because it IS fun!
ctdawes 3
just because someone parties doesn't mean they're a trouble maker