Today, I asked my father if he was proud that I have never done drugs, never drank alcohol, never had sex, never had psychological problems, never been to the hospital for something serious, never been in a fight and maintain good grades. He told me I was a boring daughter. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home from partying all night, having stayed completely sober. My Dad, blind drunk, told me he was proud of me for staying sober. He claims to have been sober longer than I have. FML
Today, my dad had a little too much to drink. When he's that drunk, he likes to pepper me with a lot of random questions. He asked if I've ever tried hard drugs, and if I want to die. I answered no to both of the questions, and he demanded to know why not. FML
Today, I told my Dad I was an alcoholic and had decided to seek help. His reply, "Don't stop drinking, you are the life of the party, funny and beautiful when you drink." FML
Today, I was arguing with my husband how he has never told our son that he’s proud of him. Without missing a beat, he told me that when our son gets around to doing something he can be proud of, then he’ll tell him he’s proud of him. Our son is a university graduate and trainee doctor. FML
Today, my parents said they know I don't do drugs or drink because I have no friends to do drugs or drink with. They are right. FML
Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML
Today, I talked to my father for the first time in several years. I proudly told him that I have been attending Beauty School. He looked me up and down and said, "Doesn't look like you've learned much." FML
Today, I realized whether it's my father, step-bro/sis and even my own mom don't care what happens to me. I stayed away from drugs, have a marriage that is great and kids I love, but none of them can look at me in any way because I have my father's blood. They have no idea I'm extremely suicidal, because I'm quiet about it. FML
Today, I explained to my dad that I had spent over three hours baking, frosting, and decorating a cake from scratch and how proud I was of it. Without even looking up at me, he replied, "You really need a boyfriend." FML
Today, my dad drunkenly confessed that the reason he never gave me the sex talk was because he figured that I'm too weird-looking and socially awkward to ever get laid. He's right, all too right. FML
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Top comments
ApollosMyth 22
Well, fishing for compliments never turns out as you hoped, does it?
MatteKudasai 17
Well you can rest easy knowing that the FML community are proud of you. Good work!
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Comments (194)
popaacxx 10
You're a good girl, wouldn't you rather be boring than be part of the crazy generation currently?
hancesolo 7
YDI for being casually derogatory about other people's problems.
VancouverGuy89 9
I'd be proud if my daughter told me that
Stefanie88 24
geez, I hope he was kidding
ApollosMyth 22
73 - If you ****** them you wouldn't be a virgin now would you?
CubanBitchh 10
But wait, what's wrong with psychological problems? They aren't good, but it's not like people choose to have them. OP didn't have to make it seem like having psychological problems is a bad thing.
D3ATHZ3RO 15
Well he's a boring dad....
sure_burt 5
Also makes you an a-hole for being proud of not having psychological problems. It's not something people choose to have.
KawaiiCupcake 14
-_______-
DJrEddyLeb 7
Just be happy for the fact that you're the girl that will be the most succesful in the future!:)
Zebediabolical 45
A small percentage of the straight edge and dedicated people advance in jobs. Much more important is how well you party with the boss.