Today, I asked my father if he was proud that I have never done drugs, never drank alcohol, never had sex, never had psychological problems, never been to the hospital for something serious, never been in a fight and maintain good grades. He told me I was a boring daughter. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home from partying all night, having stayed completely sober. My Dad, blind drunk, told me he was proud of me for staying sober. He claims to have been sober longer than I have. FML
Today, my dad had a little too much to drink. When he's that drunk, he likes to pepper me with a lot of random questions. He asked if I've ever tried hard drugs, and if I want to die. I answered no to both of the questions, and he demanded to know why not. FML
Today, I told my Dad I was an alcoholic and had decided to seek help. His reply, "Don't stop drinking, you are the life of the party, funny and beautiful when you drink." FML
Today, I was arguing with my husband how he has never told our son that he’s proud of him. Without missing a beat, he told me that when our son gets around to doing something he can be proud of, then he’ll tell him he’s proud of him. Our son is a university graduate and trainee doctor. FML
Today, my parents said they know I don't do drugs or drink because I have no friends to do drugs or drink with. They are right. FML
Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML
Today, I talked to my father for the first time in several years. I proudly told him that I have been attending Beauty School. He looked me up and down and said, "Doesn't look like you've learned much." FML
Today, I realized whether it's my father, step-bro/sis and even my own mom don't care what happens to me. I stayed away from drugs, have a marriage that is great and kids I love, but none of them can look at me in any way because I have my father's blood. They have no idea I'm extremely suicidal, because I'm quiet about it. FML
Today, I explained to my dad that I had spent over three hours baking, frosting, and decorating a cake from scratch and how proud I was of it. Without even looking up at me, he replied, "You really need a boyfriend." FML
Today, my dad drunkenly confessed that the reason he never gave me the sex talk was because he figured that I'm too weird-looking and socially awkward to ever get laid. He's right, all too right. FML
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Top comments
ApollosMyth 22
Well, fishing for compliments never turns out as you hoped, does it?
MatteKudasai 17
Well you can rest easy knowing that the FML community are proud of you. Good work!
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Comments (194)
rebelliousshroom 12
You sound extremely full of yourself. And yeah, you're boring.
xSTARRkey 1
Congratulations... on pissing off all of us who have psychological problems. It's as if we tried to get them. We totally want to be depressed, anxious, schizophrenic, or have any other mental disease. My parents are just proud that I got help and am trying to pull through. YDI for being an ass.
simsgirlgem 25
I don't know who to side with on the one hand expecting to be told how awesome you are is being full of yourself but then your father saying you're boring worries me
lionheart822 13
Will no one compliment Noor's perfectly placed reference to the previous FML? I suppose you guys just like jacking top comment.
c0rpusdesign 6
He's probably more concerned that you have no life experiences :p
mysterion115 14
where's the fun in life without having a little insanity thrown in?
WelcomeToAndale 13
So having psychological problems is a choice now? Furthermore, it's something to be ashamed of? People like you make me sick.
trippymane 6
Go participate in some anarchy haha
annz0r 5
I smoke weed quite often, party a lot, have a lot of friends, have been to the hospital for serious mental and physical problems, and still maintain good grades. And yep...I'm proud.
rokolodo 10
Wtf us wrong with all this parents. You are a great person, someday you'll be an excellent parent.