Today, I asked my father if he was proud that I have never done drugs, never drank alcohol, never had sex, never had psychological problems, never been to the hospital for something serious, never been in a fight and maintain good grades. He told me I was a boring daughter. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home from partying all night, having stayed completely sober. My Dad, blind drunk, told me he was proud of me for staying sober. He claims to have been sober longer than I have. FML
Today, my dad had a little too much to drink. When he's that drunk, he likes to pepper me with a lot of random questions. He asked if I've ever tried hard drugs, and if I want to die. I answered no to both of the questions, and he demanded to know why not. FML
Today, I told my Dad I was an alcoholic and had decided to seek help. His reply, "Don't stop drinking, you are the life of the party, funny and beautiful when you drink." FML
Today, I was arguing with my husband how he has never told our son that he’s proud of him. Without missing a beat, he told me that when our son gets around to doing something he can be proud of, then he’ll tell him he’s proud of him. Our son is a university graduate and trainee doctor. FML
Today, my parents said they know I don't do drugs or drink because I have no friends to do drugs or drink with. They are right. FML
Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML
Today, I talked to my father for the first time in several years. I proudly told him that I have been attending Beauty School. He looked me up and down and said, "Doesn't look like you've learned much." FML
Today, I realized whether it's my father, step-bro/sis and even my own mom don't care what happens to me. I stayed away from drugs, have a marriage that is great and kids I love, but none of them can look at me in any way because I have my father's blood. They have no idea I'm extremely suicidal, because I'm quiet about it. FML
Today, I explained to my dad that I had spent over three hours baking, frosting, and decorating a cake from scratch and how proud I was of it. Without even looking up at me, he replied, "You really need a boyfriend." FML
Today, my dad drunkenly confessed that the reason he never gave me the sex talk was because he figured that I'm too weird-looking and socially awkward to ever get laid. He's right, all too right. FML
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Top comments
ApollosMyth 22
Well, fishing for compliments never turns out as you hoped, does it?
MatteKudasai 17
Well you can rest easy knowing that the FML community are proud of you. Good work!
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Comments (194)
perdix 31
Well, lack of parental approval is the root of many psychological problems, so you're about to become a little more interesting ;)
Wealthyparrot 9
Yea, why can't you be the fun kind of daughter he can smoke a joint with? Sheesh.
jipster 11
Well, if you are pretty and kind then you are the perfect girlfriend. Be positive
Jaxx66 21
I'm honestly very proud that we have proper people in the world still. I don't know your age, but the vrigin part didnt really have to be included, it could just be 'safe sex'. That's something we need more of. But if you're happy, who cares what dear 'ol daddy thinks! He should be proud he practiced some parenting secret properly :)
lopecrit 7
I think it's kinda weird that she commented on physiological problem because thats a mental illness.
crystalnight 19
#28 Physiological is body, psychological is mental.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
OP are you like that because you wanna make your parents proud or because it is really who you are? If the former, well considering your dad answer, you've been wasting your time, if the latter, well ignore his comment and carry on.
True_NonBeliever 6
Don't feel bad OP! I'm sure deep down he's happy you're not some coke-sniffing *****.
ThePieGuy0817 29
Describes me as well. However, in my case, I have friends that like to do things like have spontaneous bonfires with dead trees and using bows and arrows, throwing knives, swords, etc., in our backyards. So it's anything but boring.
perdix 31
I'm guessing you are an obese smoker that doesn't bathe very often. Yes, I read your list of virtues, but I also inferred the virtues that didn't make the list.
kinky44 28
You've made three posts so far. When are you gonna say something funny?
perdix 31
#49, after you obtain a sense of humor.
kurodansei 16
so never? this saddens me. a great loss.
kinky44 28
So because I don't think you're clever, I automatically don't have a sense of humor? Well, Mr. Perfect comedy, you still haven't made a joke yet.
Meettitan 14
Is there a rule stating how many times one can comment? Is there a rule stating that EVERY comment must be paragraphs of comedic gold? Perdix has his off days, but is mostly funny. Get that stick out of your ass and go say something funny yourself.
kinky44 28
A stick? Really? You're right, there's no comment limit. But if you have something to say, say it and move on. Perdix is obviously just spamming comments until he gets one that people thumbs-up. So shut up because my arguement's with him, not you.
Fuji76 15
That's the best comment yet! I'm giving it two big thumbs up.
shit0happens 1
live life a bit :)
olpally 33
Good for you op! Your father should be proud of you. That's not easy to do!